Re: Very slight pain and discomfort in shoulder while benching
Re: Bent Rows
It sounds to me like you need to start from the basics and see if you can train your muscles. Support muscles are often very weak for one exercise, even though they're strong for another. It's like having a chair with 4 legs. The one in the front right corner is pencil thin, while the rest are thick. If you sit anywhere else on the chair, it's fine. "Good chair" you say. Then you scoot to the front right and it snaps. "That piece of shit!" It's not the whole chair that is the problem. It's the support muscles. You might have GIANT primary muscles able to lift zillions of pounds, but if your support muscles are tiny you're just going to injure yourself. I suggest starting back from zero weights. Just do things like shoulder blade squeezes or bent rows with zero weights. Yeah, you'll feel like a ***** (especially based on your self-image) but you'll get to the point where you can lift without injuring yourself. That's what really matters. Sounds like you already injured yourself once by working too hard. It's not worth it man...
Look, I'm not your life coach, or even your friend. I'm some guy on the internet. You don't have to care about a damn thing I say. What I will share is that as soon as you said "I feel that I can respect myself if I can lift 1.5* my bodyweight at benchpress." That was all I needed to hear. Consider this a life less from a sidewalk philosopher (also, Buddha, who said it long before me.) If you go through life telling yourself that things aren't ok until you reach a certain goal, you've already failed, because you've taken your self-respect away in order to earn it back again. Every journey unfolds one step, or day at a time. No matter how big of a badass you are, you're still going to step one foot in front of the other. If you set up these expectations for yourself, you're going to hate yourself until you reach them. Then you'll set up more expectations, and you'll hate yourself again until you reach those. You'll spend more time hating yourself than celebrating. We spend 99% of our time moving from destination to destination. 1% of our time arriving at the destination itself. If you're only happy when you've arrived, how much of your life will you get to enjoy?
Best of luck to you. You sound like a really determined guy. I bet if you just put energy into what you love without any expectations, you'd still achieve greatness.