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Old 04-05-2010, 07:25 AM   #1
LeonMcS
The Mayor of Kronkton
East Side Guru
 
Join Date: Aug 2007
Location: GAME MATCH POINT
Posts: 6,073
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Default Bodybuilding Tips

Reading through an old annual of The Onion and thought I'd share this with everyone.

* Its important to keep your routine varied, If you;ve been saying "Ooooooof" everytime you lift, try switching to "Unnnggghhh".

* To gain respect in the gym, bludgeon with a dumbbell the first guy who offers to trade sets with you.

* Weightlifting is not just a sport for men. It is also enjoyed by many lesbos.

* A good rule of thumb for bodybuilding: If no sleeved garment fits you, you can stop.

* Doctors warn of the dangers of steroid abuse, so be a ***** and let some ***** doctor tell you what to do, *****.

* Its true, bodybuilding is a great way to meet, terrify, and repulse the opposite ***.

* Power up with a good meal of infants before doing any substantial lifting.

* Keep in mind that weightlifting is a physical activity. Carrying heavy emotional baggage or any other metaphorical burden will not actually improve strength.

* Remember: Flexibility is of no importance to a bodybuilder. Why turn your head when you can rotate your entire torso to achieve the same effect.

* Supplement your diet with vitamin B-12, magnesium, glutamine, amino acids, horse steroids, and zinc.

* If you are a female bodybuilder, concentrate on transforming your breasts into leathery slabs of rock hard muscle. Guys love that.
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