Glass Jaws of MMA

I've been reading the forum for awhile and noticed there wasn't nearly enough chin talk, so a discussion on mandibular fortitude was in order. Obviously MMA fans don't understand the importance of proper punch resistance so I'm here to rectify that. Who are your Top 10 active china chinned chumps and who makes your Top 10 GJOAT list?

Active

10. Forrest Griffin- Managed to be feather fisted Keith Jardine's only UFC KO victory and went down to a fadeaway jab from 185er Silva.

09. Rashad Evans- Granted, he's only been KOed once, but it was an epic KO and even in his victories he generally shows some glass breaking brilliance getting dropped at least once in all of his recent fights. Hell, he dropped himself by running into Rampage's hand going for a takedown so his chin is certified porcelain.

08. Ryan Bader- I'd had questions about him ever since Minotoro rocked him with some questionable looking punches but he confirmed his status as a glass jawed fraud when Tito Ortiz, a guy who couldn't even KO Ken Shamrock standing, put him down with the ugliest right hook/uppercut ever seen in the UFC.

07. Todd Duffee- First he gets lamped into utter oblivion by an arm punch delivered by a fatty who was gassed and had been brutally beaten for two rounds then he follows up that stunning GJOTY highlight by being on the receiving end of a 19 second ass whooping that lasted only as long as it took Overeem to get to Duffee's side of the ring and punch him. I wish he'd stayed in the UFC and been paired with strikers for four or five more fights because garbage chins of that caliber produce hilarity.

06. Keith Jardine- He gets knocked into epileptic seizures ever time a jab touches that fragile glass mandible and only survived being stretched out like the mummy against Mousasi by capitalizing on the fact that Mousasi has a harder time staying on his feet than a paraplegic.

05. Wanderlei Silva- He's never had an iron jaw but his recovery time used to be amazing. Now he gets hit with an arm punch on the side of the head and is reduced to stumbling and groping for a clinch like Ray Charles trying to find the door handle. Definitely an abysmal glass jaw.

04. Matt Hughes- He was nearly knocked out by an accidental clash of heads against Matt Serra and got the curly toes in twenty seconds against BJ Penn who put him out with two right hands. What a disgraceful chin.

03. Matt Lindland- He's all kinds of suck these days, not just in the chin department, but he rocks an epic china chin. Every single time he's hit on the point of the chin he falls like a tree and goes into a convulsive trance that seems to put him in another dimension for ten minutes.

02. Brock Lesnar- The guy was literally knocked into a 720 spin by a left hook that travelled about 2 inches and he's gone fetal every time he was touched on the chin. His performance against Velasquez was hilariously bad and definitely makes him a contender for GJOTY. Hope he comes back from his surgery to deliver some more glass shattering highlights.

01. Andrei Arlovski- The single worst jaw in the business, one that leaves him crumpled on the floor with vacant corpse eyes every single time a punch brushes his beard. The first shot knocks his legs out from under him, the second puts him out cold, and the third stiffens him like a board in every damn fight. And he's been rocking this hilariously mushy mandible since his pro debut when he got obliterated by a single punch from a Russian prison goon.

Honorable mentions: Kendall Grove, Ken Shamrock, James Thompson, Mirko Filipovic, Thiago Silva, Houston Alexander

ATG

10. Chuck Liddell
09. Wanderlei Silva
08. Andrei Arlovski
07. Sean Salmon
06. Olaf Alonso
05. Bo Cantrell
04. Kimbo Slice
03. Shannon Ritch
02. Jonathan Goulet
01. Hikaru Satu- Was KOed while in mount.

 

Absolutely not. Proper punch resistance is critical to MMA as well as boxing and surely you can't disagree that the guys I've listed are legitimate glass jawed jokes. That is unless you don't believe in the irrefutable existence of fragile glass mandibles or you're an insufferable fanboy who can't acknowledge that his heroes are less-than-perfect.

 

Why is criticizing a fighter's performance disrespectful? If I point out that a fighter has subpar punching power or slow hands then it would be considered critique but as soon as you mention the mandible excuses start flying. "Waaah, that punch would have KOed anybody". Newsflash, Tito isn't Bruce Lee and that one inch arm punch would have needed a bit more distance to crack anything other than a most disgraceful chin.

Oh, and nice strawman because pointing out the importance of punch resistance SURELY implies that one has never been punched before. Glass jaws exist in MMA. It's irrefutable.

 

You're ******ed and not worth arguing with if you actually believe either of them to be in possession of anything other than a certified china chin. Chuck Liddell, in his prime, had a granite beard but after he got old he had the most abysmal glass jaw I've ever seen, so fragile that it had to go on the list. Same for Shammy, he had a decent jaw in his prime, but it's hilariously breakable now, and as we know, once they crack they don't come back. He's 4-10 in his last 14 and nine of them were by stoppage. That's pure porcelain, kid.

If it makes you feel any better, however, Chuck would also be on my Top 10 greatest jaws list for his early displays of mandibular fortitude.

 

Why does every member touting the importance of punch resistance get suspected of being an alias? Is it too hard to imagine that chin checkers are numerous because so many people are aware that a granite jaw is the most important attribute for a fighter to possess?

 

It's not disrespect, it's acknowledging the obvious fact that not all men are created equal and some take cranial abuse better than others. Bader, as I had suspected after Minotoro wobbled him with some average punches, is a china chinned chump and while he has the tools to give some guys trouble, anyone who can keep it standing and has some boxing ability is probably going to mush that silly putty chin he's got. Tito couldn't even drop Ken Shamrock and yet he crushed Bader with a single, ugly ****ing punch from about an inch away. Glass jaws exist, and Bader is in possession of one.

 

Cheers, this sort of praise coming from an ATG poster like yourself is indeed too flattering. And you should become an MMA fan because if you love watching shattered glass there's plenty of it to be broken in that sport. Some of those on my list make Khan look like Chuvalo.