Why is David Haye such a huge draw in Germany? The Floyd Mayweather of Europe

ThePunchingBag · Nov 24, 2011

shaunster101 said: ↑

To me it's clear that Haye is the cash cow of European boxing. In the last two years he's gone abroad to Germany 3 times, braving the hostility and oppressive political regimes in order to box in front off sold out arenas and footballs stadiums. For me that is impressive, especially for a man who has been very outspoken in expressing his contempt for the German people and their way of life.

But is there more to it than just being a cash cow? I think so. Here's my take

The mundane, unimaginative and closed minded people of Germany see Haye as the antithesis of everything they stand for as a nation. This is why there is so much hatred and resentment towards him both in their motherland and on this forum. It's the same reason these bitter Germans will keep paying through the nose and filling up football stadiums to watch these much bigger men try to hurt him.

The German's just want to see Haye get hurt on German turf because he is the perfect symbol of the free world they so strongly despise.

They put him (a natural cruiserweight) in the ring with the biggest champion in heavyweight history - an 8ft monster. They was sure that his blood would be spilled. But Haye was too slick and too black. He danced rings around the giant and turned his legs to jelly.

The Germans were left confused and even more bitter than usual. 'How could this happen? How could this man survive a clash with the mighty SNV?' they asked.

But they didn't have answers, just an even bigger appetite for blood.

So they put him in with the world's most dominant heavyweight - Wlad the destroyer - the man whose jab could quell a North African uprising, whose right hand causes disturbances to the space time continuum. The shockwaves from the impact of his footsteps on the canvass were going to kill Haye, let alone his punches.

They gave him a small changing room so he couldn't shadow box, they made it rain to tame his afro hair, they made him walk to the ring first, through a rabid crowd of German fans in golf shoes, they made him walk out to an entrance built around ignorant sterotypes if British life. They did everything they could to stack the odds in their favour but once again, in the ring the same thing happened.

Wlad's punches flew relentlessly around Haye's head like gnats on a warm summers evening. The German crowd screamed, spraying the travelling British fans with the foam that had been gathering on their Bavarian lips during the ringwalks. But Haye oozed slick-blackness from every pore, he dodged, dipped, ducked, dived and dodged each punch as if it was a coldcall from a tupperware salesman. His ginormous opponent grew frustrated and resorted to throwing his much smaller adversary around the ring like a rag doll.

'I might not be able to punch you, but I will make sure your knees are grazed' his between round expression seemed to say.

As expected the home fighter 'won' and was awarded the decision, but it felt like another loss to the German people. Twice they had screamed for the blood of the Englishman and twice they had seen their dreams dashed by the reflexes of a slick black man.

And still they want his blood.

Now they dig up the remains of Wlad's older, tougher brother to teach this young Brit and his freedom loving countrymen that the rigid, structured German way of life is superior. What they don't understand is that with every attempt to quiet him Haye simply becomes even more of an icon. He is the personification of an ideology of freedom, free speech and slick blackness. He will not silenced or hurt, and nor shall we.

Lewis TKO6

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I know you're just trying to be funny shaunster, and normally I like your humor, but as a German I have to tell you that what you wrote there is pretty offensive and really not cool...

shaunster101 · Nov 24, 2011

ThePunchingBag said: ↑

I know you're just trying to be funny shaunster, and normally I like your humor, but as a German I have to tell you that what you wrote there is pretty offensive and really not cool...
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Offensive?

In which way?

Uncle Rico · Nov 24, 2011

ThePunchingBag said: ↑

I know you're just trying to be funny shaunster, and normally I like your humor, but as a German I have to tell you that what you wrote there is pretty offensive and really not cool...
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shaunster101 said: ↑

Offensive?
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op

shaunster101 · Nov 24, 2011

Uncle Rico said: ↑

op
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I'm really intrigued to find out what could be deemed offfensive about this

MaliBua · Nov 24, 2011

shaunster101 said: ↑

Offensive?

In which way?
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Anyway It was Hilarious Thread Shaunster. You like to dig deep

ThePunchingBag · Nov 24, 2011

shaunster101 said: ↑

Offensive?

In which way?
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You're a smart guy, you know what I'm talking about...
I think your humour can do without the usage of those cheap racial stereotypes.

pahapoisu · Nov 24, 2011

Thomas!! said: ↑

David Haye making slo mo look like regular speed

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Holy **** :yikes

steelcity · Nov 24, 2011

pahapoisu said: ↑

Holy **** :yikes
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i hope vitali doesnt see this post or he will be pulling out of this fight whilst his life is still intact

itsa huge bitch · Nov 24, 2011

very good shaun..top notch nucca

persianprince · Nov 24, 2011

Relentless said: ↑

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slickness
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i don't know if it was sarcastic. But i loved this moment. Haye is exciting HW, but with that said he's just a human . The Klitschko's are two gods. And god always **** humans up, if he doesn't get his will

elTerrible · Nov 24, 2011

People hate Mayweather, they want to see him loose. People hate Haye, they want to see him loose.

Haye haters got their wish because he ****ing sucks.

Money May haters have got it harder, Money May dont loose.

Uncle Rico · Nov 24, 2011

shaunster101 said: ↑

I'm really intrigued to find out what could be deemed offfensive about this
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My guess is....

"The German's just want to see Haye get hurt on German turf because he is the perfect symbol of the free world they so strongly despise."

itsa huge bitch · Nov 24, 2011

elTerrible said: ↑

People hate Mayweather, they want to see him loose. People hate Haye, they want to see him loose.

Haye haters got their wish because he ****ing sucks.

Money May haters have got it harder, Money May dont loose.
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so poetic

shaunster101 · Nov 24, 2011

ThePunchingBag said: ↑

You're a smart guy, you know what I'm talking about...
I think your humour can do without the usage of those cheap racial stereotypes.
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I'm sorry mate, and I'm not trying to be obtuse - but I don't actually get which raciall sterotypes I used and are offensive in this story.

The main things that are actually mocked are:

- The idea that Germany is a backwards and bigoted place and imports Russian fighters to beat down fighters from Britain because they the idea of freedom.

- The idea of Haye as some kind of ambassador for all that is good and honourable in the world.

- The idea that simply by not being caught clean with many shots Haye pulled off somekind of moral victors.

- Arrogant and bigoted British sports fans who still view sports events against Germany as an opportunity to reaffirm the national superiority that was apparently exhibited in the wars. You, know the ones who say things like 'oh, they don't like our guy because he's British and we beat them in the war and that . . . '

- This slick black fighter stuff

Actually, I don't know why i'm trying to break this down - the whole story is actually so ridiculous that I really didn't think anyone could take offense from it.

If you genuinely was offended, i'm sorry:thumbsup

Wasn't my intention though. My intention was to write a ridiculous and amusing thread

Casamayor122 · Nov 24, 2011

Thomas!! said: ↑

David Haye making slo mo look like regular speed

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Sugar Nick making regular speed look like slo mo.

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Why is David Haye such a huge draw in Germany? The Floyd Mayweather of Europe

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