I have alot of empathy naturally so I dont like hurting people I like and I like my sparring partners. In sparring the guy who wins tends to be the guy who holds back the least (at least in my gym) like if someone's only using a third of their power their punches are gonna be slower and easier to counter/avoid. But the person whos using 50% or 70% of what he has is easily gonna win not due to being better but due to more speed and power being utilized. (even if the other guy has way more power and speed if both were at 100%) Thirdly I have alot of power and speed thats my style I hit harder than everyone at my gym and im a damn site faster and more athletic in general. But I feel redundant in sparring because I cant utilize my greatest strengths. (I cant seem to separate speed and power if I punch fast im punching with power I cant punch fast and light) How the hell do you find the balance how should I approach sparring?
If you dont like hurting people get out of boxing. Thats the original purpose of it: combat. Theres a saying i believe in: train as you fight. If you are going to hurt your opponents in the ring then dont discriminate. Im not sayin hospitalize them. But if you dont wanna hurt people then get out of boxing. You can still be friends after. Just my opinion.
If it was fair and a real fight Id love to KO someone and I wouldnt feel bad about it because he was trying to do the same to me. But no one likes a tool that beats up on the noobs.
Why not go for some of the smaller more experienced guys if they are willing? Just asking. Maybe try talking to someone about focusing on speed and what you can do to control that. I know thats why youre here but people are being assholes or just not on. Good luck! Sorry i couldnt help.
Honestly, I think sparring is one step above slap boxing. When you're new, you'll be nervous and you'll want to hurt people with power, but I think the purpose of sparring is to work on the sweet science. Countering, defense, footwork. I've been to gyms though where people just beat eachother up, but I don't think that's how it should be. Save that for the actual figth. It's easy to punch fast and light. Just pull your punches at the last moment. Don't put full impact into them. I used to have the same problem as you, but it's not that difficult. The reason you can't do it is because you're probably too nervous and tense.
I'm saying hospitalize them. Along with everything else you said. I beat up on n00bs all the time and everyone loves me. It's for y'alls own good. Just don't be a dick about it.