What one ability distinguished Boston Tom McMustache...

His finely developed lower body tan?

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The fact that he was actually an Italian from New York with no facial hair.

The Boston thing and the Irish-sounding name were just hype, and the mustache was affixed with glue.

 

I guess Irish Tex Goldstein wasn't a real Eskimo either? :twisted:

 

He is actually related to Tex Colorado, the Arizona Assassin, who hails from North Dakota

 

Ah yes, Maori Tex Colorado. Now there was a moustache!






(a Fu Manchu if I recall)

 

Was it his stamina?

It was probably his stamina.

 

He was know to operate a cotton gin and skip rope at the same time while smoking sacred Apache tobacco in his corncob pipe.

 

He is Chuck Norris' idol.

 

Of course, Boston Tom's legacy will always be tarnished by his failure to fight Chocolate Negro Kid.

Negro Kid spent six years trying to land a title fight with McMustache. McMustache purportedly was willing to fight Negro Kid and contracts for the bout were signed by both fighters. The fight, however, never took place because McMustache did not receive a $100,000 guarantee from the promoter, after Negro Kid received a $50,000 check.

 

Yes but he did defeat Chocolate Easter Bunny at catchweights

 

To be fair to him the Kid had a pretty poor excuse for a moustache. A fight like that would never have been easy to sell, not back then.

Not that I'm saying that anyone was drawing the tache line here, but, well, I think we can all read between the lines.

 

I've come the conclusion that the better question is what is one ability that didn't distinguish Boston Tom McMustache. The man was no ordinary man.

 

Untrue, McMoustache met the far superior Navajo Kid Le Blanc (3-W, 15 L, 143-NC), the finest Panamanian fighter this side of the Mississippi and by several newspaper accounts beat him from pillar to post. An unforgettable, ripping 3 hour tussle fought in the smoker's room of a East Philly Bar, referee Izekiel Fernandez of Quebec was so mortified at the carnage of Tom's infamous "Punch-Punch" he had no choice but to put a halt to the affair, lest he be tried for cupable homicide. Tom, at this point an old man at 27 after two decades of alcoholism, showed his true Champion ability and the reason no man before or since can be held to such high regards.

Chocolate Negro Kid couldn't have held Irish "Billy" Schnitzelwanger's jockstrap :bart.

 

You guys are making me so happy man. You even remembered the punch punch, the punch inspired by the tool called a blacksmith's punch.

Who says the greats of old are all forgotten?

 

Rumour has it that Boston Tom and the Russian giant "Vicious" Victor Grimski once passed each other in a San Francisco trolley car in 1938. According to eyewitness reports the very air sizzled as they locked gazes for a moment and several moustaches were sheared right off the top lips of the observers, never to regrow.

The story's probably bunk, though it's interesting to note that even to this day there exists a tribe of testosterone deprived men in the Inner Richmond District of San Fran whose singular inability to grow any form of manly facial hair has long been a subject of some debate. Descendants of those poor souls, perhaps?