Tom Schwarz is an octopus but he will go out all guns blazing

schWARz!!!!!!

 

what makes you think Fury will be less defensive... aftet witnessing the mistake AJ did... why would the defensive master fury risk looking like a fool and getting caught like AJ????

 

He's a bonafide circus bum who only uses one of his arms to throw punches with.

 

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Ha, so fury fans have resorted to talking up Schwartz, a guy no one even knew existed before he was scheduled to fight fury.

I guess I wasn't clued up with Seferi either. Remember that guy? You know, the one laughing, hugging and sharing bffs jokes with Fury, live in front of a paying audience when he was meant to be fighting? Top top opponent wasn't he!.

 

lol where do find this stuff.very good

 

This is going to be a snooze affair.

 

Is Tom Schwarz actually German or is he one of those ex-Soviet/ex-Yugoslav boxers that have been forced to change their name to make him more appealing to the mainstream? Not that it makes any difference to anything, just curious.

 

This is the story of how Schwarz came to be.

Arum - Fury, we got some options for you. We got Jennings who is free, Kauffman who has recently been knocked out,and there is Takam. None of them I feel will pose too much risk and have a few losses while being credible sells for the network and they'll all outside the top 10 so should be a walk in the park

Fury - I don't know about that Mr Bob, some of those guys have something to prove, my wife doesn't want me to fight anyone that has any power after my last fight. Some of those guys hit hard. Remember why I signed with you Bob, it wasn't to be getting hit

Bob - Ok ok ok you're right. How about a Chisora trilogy? You played with him the last time and he has absolutely nothing left in him, we can build up the rivalry again perfectly.

Fury - No no no Mr Bob. Did you not see the haymaker bomb he landed on Takam? The gypsy king doesn't go back for seconds, let alone thirds.

Arum * rubs chin

Bob's Goon - Hey Fury I think I found you the perfect opponent. He's in the Seferi mold but even less of a threat. We found him trawling around central park, he was mumbling to himself that could have been the best hw champion had he dedicated himself to the sport. I don't believe he has ever raised his fists in the ring, because he lives on the bench, drinks himself stupid every night

But he's a big guy and looks tough, but don't worry, he can't punch, he can't defend himself, and from what I heard he has no chin.

The locals say some little kids were harassing this guy, kicking at at his legs, throwing rubbish and bottles at him when he was slouched over,. One of the kids, must have been at least 6 years old taunted him, until this guy raged and hit the kid in the face, but the funny thing is, the kid literally just giggled at him . Then the kid threw a punch back and knocked out him clean out until the big guy's head hit the back of the bench.

At the moment he looks a complete mess, but we can clean him up. We'll give him a shave, fix him up a boxrec record, photo shop his head on some other world champs. Your fans will love it, and you're pretty much guaranteed a highlight reel KO on your debut on this network.

Throw in that mental health story, and we're on to a winner.

Fury -- Oi Oi! The Gypsy King likes what I'm hearing. Sounds right up my street. There's ONLY ONEEEEE TYSON FURY!!!

Bob's Goon - The only problem is his name, it's Tom Daniel. We're gonna have to think of something more palatable than that, more menacing, otherwise we won't be able to sell him right. Maybe something German, eastern european, tough schwarzenegger sounding.....wait...wait...I know, how about we name him Schwarz?

Fury - Schwarz it is * starts dancing and shadow boxing

Bob Arum - I don't know if this is right Fury. Fans are expecting something big after we reneged on the Wilder fight. Come on Fury, we need to make a statement here. What about Pulev? You're twice the size of him, you'll bully him!

Fury - I don't want to hear about Wilder, Joshua Pulev or anyone. Just make a German killer out of that bum