The Harsh Reality: Heavyweight Is A Turgid, Squalid, Lugubrious, Wretched Cesspit Of A Division.

It's Ovah · Mar 8, 2020

Brighton bomber said: ↑

He's been my favourite American heavyweight for a while too. I was one of the few who picked him to upset Bakole. His ability is obvious to see if you know what you're looking for, the speed, the head movement, the work rate and counter shots, he's a class operator and the best US heavyweight in my opinion in terms of skill, it's just his lack of size and a big punch that may cost him at the top level.

Only thing I think he needs to improve is his head position when he's up close and moving out, he looks vulnerable to a counter there, but other than his size that's the only glaring weakness in his game.
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I find he's occasionally a bit sloppy when throwing combinations. He wings his punches a lot and tends to lunge in to get himself a bit more reach. He's not really one of those super crisp guys that maintain their form even in the heat of battle, but to his credit he's got good timing and seems to know how to disrupt other fighter's rhythms with his variety of shots and the angles at which he throws them. He's kind of an awkward mix of technical and unorthodox that works really well against the bigger guys, who are used to slower, more readable targets.

chico g · Mar 8, 2020

The harsh reality is, that if that puny Usyk continues his foolish campaign at heavyweight, he will end up being viciously pounded down by these obese blobs. Unlike the scawny cruiserweights all it takes is one punch by these slow moving behemoths to be rendered unconscious. The bodybuilder Joshua, Helenius, Teper, Washington, Wach, Stiverne, Kownacki, Arreola and many others have had their punch resistance effected by these gargantuan sized out shape behemoths!

Serge · Mar 8, 2020

It's Ovah said: ↑

Hunter is an old school heavyweight with elite level skills and real burning ambition to be the best. No rippling steroid muscles and hiding behind governing bodies to protect your 0 like Wilder, no gorging yourself till you're sick then seeing how many punches you can take like Miller, Ruiz and Kownacki. Just straight old hard training, hard sparring and hustling for opportunities any chance you get. That's why he's my favourite American HW at the moment, and he probably never saw a sniff of the NBA or NFL. Just a born fighter.
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The greatest compliment a gypsy man can bestow upon a non gypsy man is to refer to them as a real fighting man and Michael ''The Bounty' Hunter is a real fighting man.

nervousxtian · Mar 8, 2020

It's funny to read how true a lot of what you wrote 2 years ago is still true today.

CST80 · Dec 13, 2020

I'm the mother****ing Sage & Oracle Of ESB.

Manfred · Dec 13, 2020

CST80 said: ↑

Okay, right off the bat, to clear up any misconceptions, I'm not an elitist, I detest snobbery from all fanboys who think that because they watch the lower divisions that they are in some way superior, we're not, its just that we're extra geeky and are willing to go that extra mile to get our Boxing fix. With that out of the way, let's face some facts shall we? The once glitzy sexy glamour division of the sport has now morphed into the sad weather beaten toothless groady old crackhoe bag lady of it. Now don't get me wrong, I'm not some starry eyed rose colored glasses wearing nostalgist that pines away for the good old days either, I'm just a frank, brutal, logical, realist about things. Put a fork in it, its dead as a doornail for the foreseeable future, with no hope of resuscitation, even if my favorite two brilliant Eastern European killers Usyk and Gassiev move up and join its plodding ranks, they can't even save it. Its that bad off.

Alright, there's a naïve perception afoot that its back!!! And in a big way, well.... that's a fallacy. Its a misperception instilled in fans by scurrilous promoters who know where the money is, so they build up these guys to be monsters among men, because after all, most of them are physically behemoths, they're gigantic, they don't seem like mere mortals, so its an easy morsel to sell to a salivating ever hungry audience, who are in fact longing for the good old days to return, in some cases the good old days they've only heard about in movies, the myths & legends of the sport. Well get over it, it ain't happening. Here's the reality, the whole division is populated with nothing but a bunch of plodding, muscle bound, one dimensional, glass jawed, manufactured assembly line robots. The paucity of talent at Heavyweight at the moment is truly appalling. Its probably one of if not the worst division in the sport.

So here's my breakdown of the divisions shining lights.

Not too shabby of a breakdown. Thumbs up.

Anthony Joshua
Its no secret on here that I'm not the man's biggest fan, but I can also be reasonable and fair in my assessment. Face it guys, all the people who are already longing for the killer AJ from a year ago, get over it, those days are never coming back. He's not a stupid man, he was made abundantly aware of his limitations in the match against Wladimir Klitschko, in fact he's probably ran the series of events that led to his knockdown and near stoppage over and over in his head on a loop for the entirely of the last year. His whole life probably flashed before his eyes in that moment, as if being faced with his own mortality, and in a way, he was. He's a pampered phony media produced money making product, nothing more,, and he knows it, he's an expendable asset, and if he loses that aura of invincibility with a KO loss or two, then the allure is gone, fickle fans will stop caring in this unforgiving sport, and they will move on to The Next Big Thing, Hearn gives him a boot in the ass, and he becomes yet another Audley Harrison or David Price like sacrificial lamb to feed to up and comers.

So, for the reasons I just listed, the new and improved, and far less entertaining AJ is here to stay, he's terrified of being countered, and he's terrified of gassing and being TKO'd because of what Wlad did to him in the 5th and 6th rounds of their fight, so he's never going to put himself in that position ever again, he knows he has a glass jaw, and a horrid gas tank, and that the only reason he survived is because Vitali like a jackass told Wlad to take his foot off the gas and take his time, allowing AJ to regroup and get his wits about him again, and even that took him about 4 rounds, even if his legion of fanboys will not admit that, he knows that's the score. So from here on out, he's going to conservatively pace himself, take zero risks, throw a minimal number of punches and not sit down on any of his shots out of fear of being countered and dropped, and if that means boring the living crap out of the fans, then so be it, because he keeps his 0, and keeps enough of them coming back to justify those big ass paychecks Eddie keeps handing him every 6 months, is all that matters. So RIP to the exciting dazzling KO artist AJ, long live the new "finesse" loving King of Boredom, finesse is just another name for cautious as all hell, because I love my exorbitant lifestyle, fame and money more than leaving a legacy of iconic performances. That Wlad-AJ match was thrilling, a little too thrilling perhaps, it also was a wake up call, AJ realized he doesn't want to be thrilling and get KTFO, so the hell with everyone, he's playing it safe. He's in fact, a hyper cautious plodding one two.... well, three artist, lets not forget that uppercut, who can't cut off the ring to save his life, isn't great at inside fighting, prefer deadly slow pace who does control range faily well, and that's only due to his opponents fear of his power, which while vastly overrated, he's an accumulation puncher, its enough to keep his opponents from aggressively walking him down. It is what it is.

Tyson Fury
Ah, our incredibly versatile skillful genuine talent in the division, who lacks the motivation to get off his fat ****ing ass and to assert himself, he's happy with one brilliant performance and the little bit of cash that came along with it, and would rather milk that for as long as he possibly can, than get his fat coked up pathetic ass in decent shape and attempt to repeat it. Fury has exemplary footwork for a big man, has brilliant lateral movement, his use of feints, jab, combinations, handspeed and reflexes are insane for such a big lumbering oaf. But he seems to prefer running his mouth instead of getting in the ring, and running there, because as skilled as he is, he's terminal box office cancer, because from now on every fight at the top level, Fury will fight exactly like he fought against Wlad, there's too many big puncher's to risk slugging it out with. He knows like AJ, his chin isn't made of titanium, so he prefers to play it safe, and very dull as well, he's the new Money Mayweather of Heavyweight, his bull****ting skills are top shelf and sell the tickets, it makes people want to see him lose, and he puts on a mind numbing borefest of a masterclass, and sends them home frustrated and annoyed that they wasted their money.

Deontay Wilder
Okay, clearly I'm a fan of The Bronze Bomber, but I'm under absolutely no illusion or delusions about his clear as the nose on your face limitations, and they're ample. Quite frankly he's as uncoordinated as a baby deer in there, his long spindly legs are partially to blame, but its not limited to that, his punch placement is atrocious, his accuracy is woeful, his opposition aside from Ortiz, has been less than stellar, his footwork is heinous, his jab while decent is limited, he seems to only have a good jab when in against orthodox face first plodders, its basically non-existent against southpaws, and of course, we can't forget the windmills can we? Wilder is a terrible boxer, but..... goddamn, that power!!!! It almost makes up for all of those limitations doesn't it? All he needs is one shot, it is truly the great equalizer with him. Deontay is not even close to the total package, but he possesses many qualities AJ lacks, he has ample heart and true grit, a far better than advertised chin and genuine willpower, and not because some old man let him off the hook. He wants to win, and dammit, he wants to entertain, sure there's some boring stretches in Wilder fights, but which of them have ultimately been truly abhorrent or mundane? The man puts on a show, and tries to entertain the best he can with his brash, obnoxious, and at times classless and crassly infuriating personality. He's the bad guy, he knows his role, and he loves playing it. That being said, he's a horrible boxer, who would lose to a laundry list of all time greats. He's an exciting KO artist, that will lose eventually, but it'll be a quasi fun ride until that happens. But one fun fighter in a sea of dullards doesn't an exciting division make.

Joseph Parker
In many ways, he's been a great letdown to me, when he first started out, he was another thrilling bombs away all action fighter, who knew he had a good chin, and exploited it with great effect, he built up a small army of devout fans when taking on so so to decent opposition, smashing their heads in with ease and with a kind of reckless yet somewhat controlled defensively responsible abandon, that entertained the masses, and drew the interest of casuals. But ever since he stepped up in class, the old thrilling action packed matches of Samoan Sledgehammer are nowhere to be seen, its not that his power isn't legit or elite level, its just that he's unwilling to set down on or even commit to his punches, because like AJ, he likes to play it safe, he doesn't fancy the idea of truly putting that iron chin to the test, so he's more than happy to bore the audiences like AJ, with dreadfully dull long boring ass cautious pitty pat counter punch filled UD's, that he does just enough to nick, he doesn't even like going out of his way to put the cherry on top, and make them dominant. He's seems very happy with just being average, which really saddens me, because if he truly believed in himself, and pushed himself, he's capable of so much more, but I'm not sure if deep down, he cares enough. He sadly lacks motivation and seems to be cool with just being okay. If someone can light a fire under his ass and give him the proper inspiration, the old Parker may return, but as of now, he's happy being an Average Joe.
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Not too shabby of a breakdown. Thumbs up.

Kiwi_in_America · Dec 13, 2020

Hmmm. Here's hoping the HW's can light themselves up a bit in 2021

Parker especially. Time for some fireworks

Reg · Dec 13, 2020

CST80 said: ↑

I'm the mother****ing Sage & Oracle Of ESB.
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Well you predicted a KO loss would derail Ajs career. It didn't. You claimed Fury wouldn't become irrelevant because he would be too lazy and unmotivated to get in shape and fulfil his true potential. But he did. You said Povektin was no longer a threat without Meldonium. Wrong again. Claimed Ruiz was too fat to be a factor in the division. Wrong again.

Serge · Dec 13, 2020

Blackclouds said: ↑

I have a different take on this thread. Wilder is best of the division, so ppl **** on the division. The reality is that there's a lot of competitive fights that can made and that's a quality division in my eyes. Biggest problem with these big guys is their stamina to bang but you know that going in. April Fools or not CST80 stumbled onto the next hater narrative after Wilder destroys AJ.
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This comment aged well

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CST80 · Dec 13, 2020

Reg said: ↑

Well you predicted a KO loss would derail Ajs career. It didn't. You claimed Fury wouldn't become irrelevant because he would be too lazy and unmotivated to get in shape and fulfil his true potential. But he did. You said Povektin was no longer a threat without Meldonium. Wrong again. Claimed Ruiz was too fat to be a factor in the division. Wrong again.
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I also said Whyte was glass jawed and would lose to anyone close to elite. To Hunter and Fury, Povetkin's power wasn't all that impressive now was it? I also said Ruiz could beat guys around Parker's level, well... he did. I never made a proclamation about what Fury was going to do, I said he was the most talented in the division and I wished he'd stop being a drugged up tub of ****, and he finally did. And newsflash, had AJ lost the rematch to Ruiz, Hearn would have written him off. I said... with a KO loss or two. So I wasn't all that wrong was I, you nitpicking smartass?

Reg · Dec 13, 2020

CST80 said: ↑

I also said Whyte was glass jawed and would lose to anyone close to elite. To Hunter and Fury, Povetkin's power wasn't all that impressive now was it? I also said Ruiz could beat guys around Parker's level, well... he did. I never made a proclamation about what Fury was going to do, I said he was the most talented in the division and I wished he'd stop being a drugged up tub of ****, and he finally did. And newsflash, had AJ lost the rematch to Ruiz, Hearn would have written him off. I said... with a KO loss or two. So I wasn't all that wrong was I, you nitpicking smartass?
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You're very good at twisting narratives to make it seem like you're better at predicting things than you are.

Serge · Dec 13, 2020

Notice how neither HW Level Bakole or Kuzmin could drop the other but CW Level Michael ''The Bounty'' Hunter was able to drop Kuzmin and hurt and stop Bakole despite the fact he was giving away a ton of weight to them?

CST80 · Dec 13, 2020

Reg said: ↑

You're very good at twisting narratives to make it seem like you're better at predicting things than you are.
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How about shut the hell up and make a few predictions that come close to matching mine, then maybe you can open your mouth.

CST80 · Dec 13, 2020

Serge said: ↑

Notice how neither HW Level Bakole or Kuzmin could drop the other but CW Level Michael ''The Bounty'' Hunter was able to drop both of them despite the fact he was giving away a ton of weight to them?
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I was going to bring that up on the RBR the other day. But didn't feel like getting dragged into an argument.

Serge · Dec 13, 2020

CST80 said: ↑

I was going to bring that up on the RBR the other day. But didn't feel like getting dragged into an argument.
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CW Level deniers are worse than Flat-earthers and Biology deniers.

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The Harsh Reality: Heavyweight Is A Turgid, Squalid, Lugubrious, Wretched Cesspit Of A Division.

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The Harsh Reality: Heavyweight Is A Turgid, Squalid, Lugubrious, Wretched Cesspit Of A Division.

It's Ovah I am very feel me good. Full Member

chico g Let's watch some Sesame Street...lmao Full Member

Serge Ginger Dracula Staff Member

nervousxtian Trolljegeren Full Member

CST80 De Omnibus Dubitandum Staff Member

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