Mark Vyacheslavovich Petrovsky vs. Kevin Blue Vladimirovich (née Johnson)

Officially this is the co-headliner tomorrow in Moscow, airing live on Ren TV domestically and the Ushatayka channel on YouTube internationally - but IMO this is the clear de facto main event of the real, legitimate, sanctioned professional boxing portion of the card.

The actual top of the bill is Vyacheslav Valeryevich Datsik (combat sports' most infamous Neo-Nazi) vs. Oliver John Thompson (a British strongman), but as with most Datsik events there is a lack of clarity as to whether this is going to count on anyone's official pro record or be a glorified exhibition (as was his fight with the former Mr. Johnson in March, a three-rounder in which Kingpin was declared victorious over "The Red Tarzan" but without it subsequently appearing on his record), with signs leaning toward it being the latter.

Petrovsky, a 6'1" southpaw, was a successful amateur, going strong in the pros so far with a 5-0 (4) record. He is 24 years old, young enough to literally be 43 year old Kingpin's son (even without the latter having needed engage in any underage funny business). His sum thirteen pro rounds boxed amounts to just 3% of the American's experience.

Oh yeah, if you didn't hear: the man we knew as Kevin Blue "Kingpin" Johnson acquired his long-sought Russian citizenship and finalized a change of last name (from Johnson to ...Vladimir Putin's middle name) this week. Yep. Real life is ****ing stranger than any fiction.

The official RBR for this circus will be going up in 22.5 hours (2pm EST)

 

He's actually on a somewhat decent run of form during the pandemic.

Or, let me amend that and say that his form the last few years is as wildly inconsistent and mercurial as it was in his prime.

Granted the Wach performance was abysmal, but he then knocked out Yoan Pablo Hernández. Then, yes, he lost four in a row in 2021 and 2022 and drew with a 6-12-1 guy, but then schooled Datsik (even though it doesn't count on his record) and knocked out Aydin Yıldırım.

Hopefully an "on" version stomps Petrovsky a new hole tomorrow.

 

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Whoever edited Kingpin's page on Wikipedia gave him way too much benefit of the doubt listing his new official legal name as "Kevin Vladimirovich Johnson" (which is still cringe but at least would follow some kind of logic, making his middle name the same as Putin's and just ditching the "Blue" his parents assigned him) but no. He was very clear on the record that he is now Kevin Vladimirovich, full stop.

Reminds me of when that NFL player tried legally changing himself to Chad Ocho Cinco thinking it meant "85" (his jersey number) in Spanish when really it means "Eight Five".

 

If they ever open a "Boneheaded U.S. Athletes Changing Names in Displays of Shameless Pandering to a Given Culture That Isn't Their Own but Getting It Very Wrong" Museum, there needs to be a Kevin Vladimirovich wing and Chad Ochocinco wing.

 

So the only two votes for Kingpin in fact aren't.

 

Pretty unexceptional undercard, aside from a mildly interesting match-up between two guys who each seemed poised circa 2015 or so to become real contenders but never really panned out:

Dilmurod Akramzhanovich "Little Mike" Satybaldiev vs. Dmitry Yuryevich "The Mechanic" Mykhaylenko, 6 rounds @ cruiserweight

 

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Bro is simping LIKE CRAZY for that Russkie snowbunny pizdá.