Mark Vyacheslavovich Petrovsky vs. Kevin Blue Vladimirovich Johnson & V. Datsik vs. Oli Thompson RBR

Opponent is another slighty older and less well put together looking geezer, with a grey mullet.

 

Ahh, thank you. I've heard of both. But yeah, they're names from way back.

 

A hilariously long portion of the first round was spent with them locked in embrace, both squinting and landing rabbit punches or shooting their arms up overhead and then falling like comets into each other's crown.

If you ever wondered the quality of boxing that would be displayed by two retired MMAists in their 50's - it's worse than you're picturing.

 

IT WENT TO THE GROUND! Monson went for a mount and the ref started to lose his mind.

 

There has been no "boxing", just early UFC-style "dirty boxing" (wrist clasped behind the nape of your opponent's neck, hitting with the other free hand)

TAKTAROV GOES FOR A TAKEDOWN! Ref screaming at them, on all fours attempting to pull them apart.

This whole thing has to be scripted. It's ludicrously unserious.

 

Kostya Tszyu in the ring, grinning, having fun. Getting chunky.

 

Taktarov and Monson both red-faced, heaving, and look like they need an ambulance after a few rounds that were mostly clinching.

Zagorsky reads the decision as a draw, which Taktarov isn't thrilled with.

 

55 and 52. Aged roughly.

 

Monson is actually an American but pulled the whole "defecting to Russia" thing long before Kingpin.

He's from St. Paul, Minnesota originally but now resides and has held political office in Krasnogorsk (part of the Moscow metropolitan area).

He is an "anarcho-communist"

 

Now we get to watch a live Russian rapper performance.

 

Damn it, the match I was most looking forward to apparently got dropped from the card (Satybaldiev vs. Mikhailenko)

 

This is a late-night party, damn near 1am in Moscow...