Update on Wilder's resumé

If anyone has anything else to add, please feel free

 

--Knocked out badly by an unknown LHW in amatuers
--ALSO, ko'd by a Polish Sausage in the amatuers
--Squeaked by with a bronze somehow in the Olympics
--Put down by morbidly obese Dustin Nichols with a "Check-Jab"
--Put down heavily and almost out* by career loser Harold Sconiers
--Built much of he career by beating sad corpses like Harrison and Lyakovich
--Brought in personal friend Malik Scott to take an obvious dive
--Did not fight the real champ for his "title" but a Don King manufactured Buffet champion
--Knocked down by 2 Wlad jabs and out with one medium left hook in sparring
--Destroyed and almost ktfo'd by Haye in sparring
--Rocked heavily by a Firtha jab
--Could not defeat Stiverne as convincingly as Demetrice King
--Could not even knock Stiverne down like Rossy
--Some of the most shameful opponents for his "title defenses" that the world has ever seen, showing his low self esteem
--Rocked badly and almost out vs Molina ("Drummer Boy")
--He did not perform as well agasint Molina as Arreola OR ASHANTI JORDAN, both of whom knocked him out in 1
--Eye busted up and made to look like a gargoyle by Duhaupas (The Reptile), a French pastry chef
--Sold as a nice guy, but actually spends his time beating up hookers and mental patient Charlie Zelenoff, who are ironically his best opponents
--Dispresects great fighters like Tyson and Klitschko
--Now trying to claim that Fury's "courageous" win somehow makes him champion.
--Avoiding Povetkin like the plague
--Seems to be using a new tactic,probably to mask steroid use, of not allowing his pathetic opponents a full camp
--Was considering Wawryck, knocked out in 3 by his mandatory, as an opponent
--Offered a shot to Adamek, a shot to pieces 39 year old former LHW who is 1-2 in his last three, but only allowed him a 6 week camp.
--Avoided Briggs and Bronco Billy Wright, shot fighters who carry AARP cards
--Will fight an unemployed Soccer Hooligan named Szpilka? on 4 weeks notice, and will underpay him, overfeed and hooker him up
--Wilder's team, "Burger Squad", keeps removing and scrubbing the Internet of all of his shameful knockdowns and ktfo's; mostly while attempting a bad attempt at the "Ali Shuffle", which will now be called the "Burger Bungle".

 

Nice attempt. Not a nice guy either

 

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