THE 2025 WILDER DOSSIER

With the latest Wilder hubbub surfacing because of his "long awaited" and anticipated return, I thought it was time to present what might be the final installment of the Dosser-Dossier

Thanks for the memories champ!


--Knocked out badly by an unknown LHW in amateurs
--Outboxed badly by a Polish Sausage in the amateurs
--Squeaked by with a bronze medal somehow in the Olympics
--Put down by morbidly obese Dustin "Big Worm" Nichols with a "Check-Jab"
--Put down heavily and almost out by professional loser Harold "Hard Roc" Sconiers
--Built much of his career by beating sad corpses like Harrison and Lyakhovich
--Brought in personal friend Malik Scott to take an obvious dive
--Did not fight the real champ for his "title" but a Don King manufactured Buffet champion
--Knocked down by 2 Wlad jabs and OUT with one medium left hook in sparring.
They gave him some birthday cake after he came-to
--Destroyed and almost ktfo'd by Haye in sparring
--Rocked heavily by a Firtha jab
--Could not defeat a very ill Stiverne as convincingly as Demetrice King
--Could not even knock a very ill Stiverne down like Derrick Rossy
--Some of the most shameful opponents for his "title defenses" that the world has ever seen, showing his low self esteem and lack of faith by his handlers
--Rocked badly and almost Knocked out vs substitute teacher Molina ("Drummer Boy")
--He did not perform as well against Molina as Arreola OR Ashanti Jordan, both of whom knocked him out in 1
--Outboxed embarrassingly by former failed football player Gerald Washington, and somehow landed a lucky punch on the chinny lump; all the windmills flying, one of them had to land eventually.
--Eye busted up and made to look like a gargoyle by Duhaupas ("The Reptile"), a French pastry chef
--Sold as a nice guy, but actually spends his time beating up hookers and mental patient Charlie Zelenoff, who are ironically his best opponents
--Disrespects great fighters like Tyson and Klitschko
--Now trying to claim that Fury's "courageous" win somehow makes him champion.
--Avoiding Povetkin like the plague
--Seems to be using a new tactic,probably to mask steroid use, of not allowing his pathetic opponents a full camp
--Was considering Wawryck, knocked out in 3 by his mandatory, as an opponent
--Offered a shot to Adamek, a shot to pieces 39 year old former LHW who is 1-2 in his last three, but only allowed him a 6 week camp.
--Avoided Briggs and Bronco Billy Wright, shot fighters who carry AARP cards
--Will fight an unemployed Soccer Hooligan named Szpilka? on 4 weeks notice, and will underpay him, overfeed and hooker him up
--Wilder's team, the "Burger Squad", keeps removing and scrubbing the Internet of all of his shameful knockdowns and ktfo's; mostly while attempting a bad attempt at the "Ali Shuffle", which will now be called the "Burger Bungle".
--Got punked out badly by unemployed, fur coat wearing soccer hooligan Spzilka at face off for their upcoming "title" fight
-- Was being outclassed by undersized, unemployed, glorified bum, fur coat wearing, soccer hooligan Spzilka for 9 rounds
-- Was clearly intimidated by Tyson Fury after landing a lucky punch against undersized, unemployed, glorified bum, fur coat wearing, soccer hooligan Spzilka
-- When intimidated by Fury, had to resort to his pathetic catchphrase, causing embarrassment to, and for, everyone associated with the Wilder camp.
--Now is again avoiding Povetkin like the plague and will likely be stripped of his title; but Uncle Al will give him a
worthless, manufactured PBC belt.
--Tried to fight the CAN Martin in a title unification match, but the WBC refused to allow the fight, and that Wilder fight his mandatory; then team Bronze Burger attempted to get Povetkin to fight Martin, but he refused; just another pitiful attempt to duck Povetkin.
--Wilder skips leg day, resulting in pitiful 14" calves on a 6'7 man, which produce the funniest chicken dances and future KTFO's ever.
--Ducked fight with a clean Povetkin, ran back to Alabama, and still demanded $5million dollars, now will fight someone who trains on burritos and coronas
--Ran from aforementioned Burrito-Corona-Boy and took him 8 rounds and still couldn't beat him as convincingly as Buffet king Stiverne
--Tried so futilely hard to KO Arreola with his overrated power shots, he broke his puny wrist and tore his bicep and still couldn't put the shot Californian out. There was a mercy stoppage
--Now is ducking everyone for the rest of the year due to his "courageous" injuries, including his 2 year mandatory Povetkin and states he will fight Joshua, as a cash out but everyone knows he will chicken out.
--Miraculously was healed from his injuries only AFTER his mandatory, Povetkin, announced he would fight buffet King Stiverne.
--Now is cleared to come back in the Spring, but will likely choose another scrub like Wawryck or Bronco Billy as defense and call it a necessary "tune up".
-- WBC grants Wilder an unprecedented 5TH voluntary defense, and announces he will likely fight the total can Wawryck in the Spring who was spanked in 3 by his mandatory.
--Now his mandatory Povetkin, destroyed in Tyson-esque style, the French pastry chef Duhaupas, the guy who busted up Wilder and took all his "power" shots no problem, in fewer rounds than Wilder.
--Wawrzyk fight off, Team Wilder currently searching the Buffet and Steak Houses of Alabama for his next opponent.
--Wilder's team is now so pathetic that they are constantly setting up fights against PED cheaters. Obviously the fights will get cancelled so that fragile mandible stays untouchable.
--Was badly hurt by a 47 year old, washed up, overweight heart patient Luis Ortiz, and was lucky not to get KO'd
--Was THOROUGHLY outboxed by a 4 year returning, former druggie, just recently 450lb Tyson Fury, who got robbed, and escaped with a draw, continuing his title fiasco reign for a bit longer
--Wears a mask to the ring before every fight in a vain effort to try to hold his chin together.
--Came to the ring in Fury rematch wearing a foolish costume, then later claimed that said costume was one of the reasons for his KO loss because it was 'heavy'.
-- Tried deflecting his horrific loss to Fury by brutal KO by stating that Fury had no filling in his gloves, also had a metal bar in the fist, and was hooking him with his wrists.
Disgraceful.
--Also blamed his trainer, Dees, the man who saved his life stopping the Fury fight; yet another shameful deflection and excuse from his poor performance.
--Made an absolute fool of himself in England , when he slipped and fell over some spilt food while chasing after Billie Joe Saunders, a Middleweight Pikey, after a practical joke, who ironically had he actually caught him would have been his best opponent to date.
--Had a 'stay busy' fight against at this point a nearly 50 year old, deteriorated heart patient Luis Ortiz
-- Hired a tomato can who was an even worse a boxer than he was--Malik Scott to train him for the 3rd fight.
-- Got knocked out even more terribly in the 3rd fight and continuing his steep mental decline.
Who knows what is next for the Bronze Dosser? Stiverne 3??
Retirement hopefully for his sake. Save that last brain cell.
--Landed lucky punch on one of the worst chinned, past it fighters in Helenius, who also was more easily slayed by way past it Duhaupas; the French pastry chef.
--Makes a complete fool of himself in music video with unintelligible lyrics and distorted amateurisic sound. He is NOT a crossover star.
--Smashed up badly, and was extremely gunshy, but somehow remained on his feet against Joseph Parker.
--Comprehensively destroyed and slept via 360 spin by an overweight , under-stamina'd 40 year old Chinaman and kidney patient, Big Bang Zhang....
--The aforementioned spin seems to have been idiotically practiced in camp, likely a concoction of his poor trainer Malik Scott
--Will now do a "big" comeback fight in Wichita Falls, Kansas, in front of 500 people, against a #285th ranked guy Herndon, who nobody has heard of, who is on the order of Harold Sconiers and other cans he fought in his pathetic run up to his so called title reign, and will likely be KO'd anyway because his chin is even more abysmal than it was before.
--If he somehow pulls out a win, they will hail it as an enormous, career changing victory to drum up support for a Joshua fight, who is also now a chinless can, in which he will be badly KOd in any event.
--Career probably over and can retire to admire his idiotic statue in his front yard, and in between tokes of the weed he smokes will yell BOMB SQUAD in vain

**Credit to myself and catchwtboxing

 

The fact that he will likely lose, weheres before he struggled but got them out of there eventually shows where he is at.
It is possible this can is taking a dive to get a payday to set up the AJ fight tho

 

285th

Herndon

 

Might as well have been Nichols at that point of fighting someone that low in the ranks

 

Have fun putting it together

 

Gratified is more the word

 

The beginning of the legend