Матч! Боец: Shohabbos Bakhtiyorovich Shukurov vs. Dmitry Gochaevich Khasiev RBR

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...how's that for a clarion roll-call?

 

Shohabbos Bakhtiyorovich Shukurov vs. Dmitry Gochaevich Khasiev, 10 rounds @ middleweight

 

This main event was originally supposed to be Shukurov against Ali Gofurjon Ogli Turgunaliyev. Both the Tajik-Russian and Uzbek brought in identical records, which was going to provide me the opportunity to post "somebody's seven and one...is done!"

Sometime in the last 24 hours Turgunaliyev apparently withdrew, and so now Shukurov is facing fellow Russian and 12-8-2 southpaw Khasiev as replacement.

 

I was very confused when I heard Shukurov being announced after walking in second (seems very early for a card to wrap up - barely past 8:30pm local time in Nalchik) and had to scramble to figure out the opponent's identity, since I neither speak nor read Russian.

But what I do have is a very particular set of skills...

(not that big a deal really, just went to BoxRec, filtered for active pros with the first name Dmitry, and had to go through a couple of pages of results until I found a guy with a 12-8-2 record matching the one on the Матч! Боец graphic and whose name in Latin alphabet looked like it could be a match for "Xacneb", or more accurately, Хасиев)

 

10-9 Shukurov, using his 2½" height advantage to good effect, planting sharp jabs between Khasiev's eyes and drilling him in the stomach with straight right hands. Khasiev trying to duck and shimmy around tossing quick guerilla combos from angles but getting routed.

 

Shukurov has Khasiev on the ropes, throwing punches in bunches, uppercuts splitting the guard, and in comes the white towel.

Pretty anti-climactic.

I'd planned my afternoon around watching the on-paper evenly matched Shukurov vs. Turgunaliyev, damn it (not only were both 7-1 heading in, they are both exactly 5'9½" and just months apart in age) - now what the hell do I do with my day off while procrastinating laundry? Masturbate again? Read a book?

 

This next bout isn't even listed on the BoxRec or Tapology page for the card. No idea the weight, # of rounds, or either combatant's name, not being fluent - but they look like this spelled out:

Amnh Kywxob vs. Baxtahr APYTI-OHRH

Anybody with an eye trained for Cyrillic can chime in if they want. I'm not decoding all that.

 

Commentators are really elevating this one into high entertainment.

There's a spinning headlock that with momentum nearly turns into a tornado DDT before the ref catches both guys...

"No, no, no, no, no, no!"

 

Alright, guess that's it - went and took a crap and returned to find MMA on Боец.