Apology to Hearn & AJ

Went to tenerife with a few of the boys after finishing school exams.. Pumped my best mates cousin, knocked her thong, and placed it on said cousins face to wake up to. .

On same holiday that very mate pumped a total slapper in the toilets and the guy behind the bar (who obv knew about said slapper) followed them in and video'd them at in the bogs ....I then bought a copy of the video and proceeded to get it played in every bar we went to and then let his little sister watch it when we got back home!!!

 

Much u rent this disguise for. . Might get the chubbster to wear it!!!

 

'Just finished chomping down on my pint and kebab. Just fed the little mite his small donor and will whip him round to the local so he can wash it down with a cheeky pint like!

Bit gutted coz it means ain't gonna hav the dosh 4 Dave Allen at the O2

The missus ain't happy either, as she wants to tune in to see AJ's body, but wat kan ya do hey'

Memoirs of a typical matchroom casual

 

Haha. Skinny birds are alright but I do like a bit of timber if i’m honest. Sharing a bed with a skinny bird is like rolling over the remote control.

 

To be fair it's in en vogue now, pull up a sandbag time now but do you remember in the 90's when it was basically a public offence for a bird to be anything other than thin...

 

Haha, so true. They had hair down there in them days too. I miss them days, they’re like dolphins now.

 

Someone wrote on another forum "what do you miss most about the 80's",

the reply was, "pubic hair on girls"

 

Too much

 

I too would like to take this opportunity to apologise for sending all of my now, ex-girlfriend's nudes to all my dudes.

 

When I was 16 and came back from Malia I convinced a friend who'd been putting about with no protection that he needed to go to an STI clinic and then on the day filled his heart with terror by telling him about the 'umbrella test' and that he would need an erection for it to be done properly.

Naturally a nurse didn't take Kindly to a dopey 16 year old getting his erect **** out in front of her. I mean her job was hard enough... Ba dum tsh!

 

I remember those ‘umbrella’ stories back in the 90’s...absolutely terrified me. Proud to say that i’ve never had a STI but I have had to go to the clinic on 3 separate occasions just to make sure. That first time was awful, i didn’t know they could that with a cotton bud. Still makes me shudder.

Afterwards, whilst trying to have a slash, my mind went back to that Annie Lennox song ‘walking on broken glass’ cos it felt like I was p***ing it’.

 

Do you have the same size 2 inch Black & Decker attached to Tony Hayers?