Bizarre Larry Holmes encounter

Regardless if some literary liberites was taken with this piece, I laughed my arse off. That was hysterical.

 

Fake news. Anyone with even a slight bit of knowledge regarding Denny's standing in the
Black community would know Holmes would never eat there.

Now if the story had mentioned IHOP or Waffle House then I'm all in.

 

Hey. Premature flatulation is not funny. Respect for it's victims pleaze.

 

Success smells like farts.

 

Well my dog must be very successful ,cos he's always letting rip !!?

 

I saw Larry Holmes at a grocery store in Los Angeles yesterday. I told him how cool it was to meet him in person, but I didn’t want to be a douche and bother him and ask him for photos or anything.
He said, “Oh, like you’re doing now?”
I was taken aback, and all I could say was “Huh?” but he kept cutting me off and going “huh? huh? huh?” and closing his hand shut in front of my face. I walked away and continued with my shopping, and I heard him chuckle as I walked off. When I came to pay for my stuff up front I saw him trying to walk out the doors with like fifteen Milky Ways in his hands without paying.
The girl at the counter was very nice about it and professional, and was like “Sir, you need to pay for those first.” At first he kept pretending to be tired and not hear her, but eventually turned back around and brought them to the counter.
When she took one of the bars and started scanning it multiple times, he stopped her and told her to scan them each individually “to prevent any electrical infetterence,” and then turned around and winked at me. I don’t even think that’s a word. After she scanned each bar and put them in a bag and started to say the price, he kept interrupting her by yawning really loudly.

 

I met Larry Holmes at a convention for Amazonian bee hivests in Cincinnati last Thursday. I was explaining the rudimentary function of the spora on the fontana of the Chilean bumbler bee whe Larry walked up and asked for 120 cents to use the payphone at the film booth in the parking lot to call Del MONTE cemetary in Short Beach Cali to tell the groundskeep to remember to leave extra manure on Ken Norton's grave. After he hung up I followed him to Burger Chef and while he ate I talked to him about his career 1974-1981 only. I paid for his meal drove him to the bus station and he returned home to Easton. As the bus rolled off I noticed LARRY WAS DRIVING. Weird experience man. But a great champ

 

If Larry found out these comments, he would open up a can of whupass.

 

That there are real life people out there who, for even a second, believed this nonsensical, childish story to be true was enough to give me a headache and ruin my whole day. I had to lie down for a while.

 

This description of him supports the farting story.

 

Hilarious. The original story lost its credibility when the guy started talking about having to replace his car and all that. Myself, I would never approach Larry Holmes in public --or most fighters for that matter -- as they are an unpredictable lot. But...if there is any truth to these stories, let's remember that this man took hard blows to head from Earnie Shavers, Mike Tyson, and Evander Holyfield.

 

It's a copypasta

 

Even if it's not, I'm using it as one.

 

A casual acquaintance of a sixth Cousin's once remove Poodle overheard this story told by a Special Ed preschooler to a hobo tribe of escaped mental patients as translated by a cult of terminal serial killers; so I Swear that this is All True:

I was climbing Mount Everest & approaching the summit with a team of expert climbers & Sherpas when who came from the direction of the most impassible wall of ascent was Larry Holmes!
He was ascending barefoot & wearing only cargo pants with seemingly steroidal. custom made pockets all over them

He was using only one hand to free climb the most perilous vertical wall imaginable
With the other he was continually stuffing his face with provisions of an exceedingly flatulence inducing nature...
The net effect of the continual & astronomically forceful gastronomical explosions both warmed him & seemed to be strategically propelling him even faster than I have ever seen a howler ****** scamper up a merely steep embankment

We followed as best we could on the much easier route all sane climbers followed but could only see him at a distance by the time he reached the very peak

Though easily a senior citizen & nearly three hundred lbs I sincerely believe that we can label this a A "Peak" Larry Holmes

At the tippy top he began bellowing in kind of unimaginably deep & resonant voice a kind of chant or mantra about "Holmes is HOME Homie hit a home run, who is Homely now I am truly the Prettiest No auto-Homo: nobody is even a homeopathic dose as Holy a Homo Sapien as HOOOOOLLLLLLMESSSSS!!!!"
Punctuated by an ever accelerating frenzied dance & ear_splitting screeches, hoots & howling

He then abruptly stopped; frozen until suddenly shoving in all remaining food in every pocket at one time
Then there was a visible swelling of his whole frame & a Mighty Detonation that sounded like a combination of a large rocket & Hiroshima===>the down blast sending us flying backwards to our original position:

We could see Larry thrust upwards & forwards for ~ a quarter to a half mile at a time before blasting off again: he must have been able to reach sea level & then to border within fifteen minutes at this clip. Astonishing!


And it is All True.

 

I'd almost believe the part about Larry stiffing the OP on the bill. Here in Indy, I once listened to a 7/11 clerk complain that they had to bar Marvin Johnson from their store because he had been tearing open dog food bags , stealing the loose food by filling his pockets with it. True story.