Bob Sapp vs. Kimbo

Early Pride/K-1 Sapp shatters his glass jaw no question. Later version probably takes a dive but wouldn't shock me if he accidentally KO'd china chinned Ferguson.

 

Despite being enormous and as strong as an ox, sapp was a bum with no heart, little skill, and no gas tank. He wasnt even slightly embarrased by his losses to men who were so much smaller than him and admitted he basically sold out for money.

In a real fight to the finish, i'll go with kimbo. He's sloppy as hell, but he had a huge heart and decent power.

 

What about Joe Louis vs Kimbo Slice and 70s George Foreman vs Bob Sapp

 

What about Joe Louis vs Kimbo Slice and 70s George Foreman vs Bob Sapp

 

Joe louis vs kimbo slice:

You would have to get the 50 year old joe louis greeting people at casinos to make it fair. He doesnt bother getting his old team from the time machine after seeing kimbo's highlights and is more impressed with smart phone technology. At the last minute he hires a ymca boxing instructor as his coach and a 20 year old nurse intern as his cutwoman. Since kimbo doesnt have time to gain amateur or pro experience, he hires freddie roach who specializes in offense.

Kimbo would land a few good glancing blows and shoves and roughs up joe a bit with his prison body strength. Joe does an old man cough and in the brief moment with his mouth open, kimbo lands a clubbing hook, knocking joe's mouth piece out and joe's knees buckle. Kimbo follows up with three wild hayemakers. Joe masterfully parries the first two and is about to counter the third, but his old reflexes betray him and he goes down.

Kimbo goes to his corner, then charges forward at joe whose up at 6 more embarrased than hurt. Roach instructs a bob and weave but kimbps half assed head movement gets him tagged over and over due to a lack of experience. Joe then puts on a clinic, using only his jab. The rest of the fight looks like this:

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Bob Sapp vs 70's Foreman

At the press conference, Bob gives long winded WWE speeches and even crushes an apple in an attempt to intimidate foreman who is just staring ahead. At the weigh in theres a gasp because at 228 vs 270, foreman seems so much smaller.

At the ring walk, Sapp is posing and flexing, but Foreman is 10 minutes late. He finally arrives with ketchup on his moustache and chewing the last few fries. Bob stares him down and says "one last meal before the execution?". Foreman glares at him, no, he looks right through him like an open window with a beautiful sunset on the other side. Bob realizes he made a huge mistake and sweats nervously in the corner. He cant even hear Angelo Dundee giving him instructions.

The bell rings and he says screw it, he needs to put on a show. He stomps like a T-rex and grabs foreman, walking him backwards to the ropes. He digs in a few body shots and mauls him. Bob is fired up with adrenaline surprised at himself. Foreman suddenly pushes bob back slowly like a crowbar. Amazingly, he creates space and gets the behemoth a full arms length away. This is stocky muscle from years of trainings vs big showy muscle for display. Bob jabs but foreman catches it with his right glove and blasts bob with his own jab. Foreman lands two more and gives bob a black eye. Bob nails foreman with a right, then tries to smother him again. Foreman knows how to clinch and wrestle as well as any mma fighter and gets bob off of him and shoves him back again. With the newly created space and bobs hands down, foreman lands a devastating uppercut. It almost looks like a tow truck lifting a huge semi off the ground.

Bob goes down, then slowly gets up and realizes he made another huge mistake: choosing to stand up. Foreman clubs and batters him from pillar to post. Angelo dundee throws in the towel.

 

Just out of curiosity are we talking about Kimbo or Kimo? And why is this in classic?

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