Boston Tom McMustache: Fistic Finesse & Fury

Boston Tom didn’t just say he could lick Everyman in the bar he did it! One time at Swifty Morgan’s tavern Tom licked the whiskers off of every man in the bar, he licked every window, every stool and all of the surfaces in the place. Why Boston Tom would lick just about anything!

 

in fact he invented cunnilingus

 

Yes, but you have to understand that in those days a fight was declared a no-contest unless the downed opponent could get up unassisted by sundown. Since Tom held most of his matches at the crack of dawn, that gave his opponents a good ten to twelve hours of sunlight in which to imbibe enough of Doc McTavish's 100% Cocaine Health Tonic to kickstart their nervous systems again.

Old Chocolate, of course, being of a somewhat impoverished station, had to rely on raw corn spirit and gentleman's bootblack to achieve the same effects (which, coincidentally, were exactly the ingredients of McTavish's tonic, the "cocaine" part being merely window dressing).

 

This whole forum has gone mad.
Boston Tom was a drunk walloping idiot.
Sure sometimes his fist would luckily find its way into the opponents head, leaving the other man lifeless in a heap of blood. But what is a lucky punch anyway! I fancy the type of boxer with gusto and creativity. Boston Tom was a nothing nobody!

 

I'd say Tom already achieved that. NCs over Irish Tex Goldstein and Fighting Battler, draws with Eskimo Evans, Gem Crabtree, Soldier Fireman Smith, robberies over Chocolate Negro Kid and Lucky Sambo, plus a genuine KO over Kid McSnotty (though some say McSnotty was green at the time, and underage), all of that puts him well above the likes of those pale pretenders IMO.

Boston Tom's resume is stacked with HOFers. Who the hell did Holmes ever fight that was worth a damn?

 

You deserve to be taken outside and beaten to a newspaper decision.

 

I swear to god if they ever make a new Fight Night game my first character WILL BE Boston Tom McMustache.

 

Tom was an outlaw and that was a felony back in those days. He was a hard, hard, man.

 

The Ballad of Boston Tom. Anyone care to post it?

 

Can someone explain this inside joke to me

 

As far as I know, having not watched the video, it's just that Boston Tom McMustache is the greatest over the top name for a boxer I've heard since Tyson Fury.

 

http://eastsideboxing.wikia.com/wiki/Boston_Tom_McMustache?comments_page=1

 

I'm dying. Holy hell I've been on here for years and never knew this meme. This is pure gold.

 

Marty Robbins wrote a song about Tom, so did Hank Williams snr. People weep when those songs are sung, even by Eminem.

Boston Tom stared at Chuck Norris; Chuck Norris fainted.

Jack Johnson said "Boston Tom smacked me so hard whilst training for Jeffreis that Galveston got hit by a hurricane".

 

Boston Tom invented the Philly shell, then grew bored with it and invented the Boston Crab defense, which has never been penetrated.