Breaking news!.....Klitschko PED confessions!

Discussion in 'World Boxing Forum' started by Blake Rayne, May 5, 2011.


  1. Blake Rayne

    Blake Rayne Fat Cuban Aficianado Full Member

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    For what seems like an eternity there has been an overwhelming paranoia in the West regarding Soviet athletes. Seemingly indestructible men of gigantic proportions with unnatural speed and power, who are not so much raised as they are grown by Government scientist. Fed a steady diet of exotic, performance enhancing drugs and trained relentlessly, to compete for the glory of their comrades.

    Many of the Klitschko's detractors believe that are cut from the same cloth and it seems as though they may have finally found their proof.

    The release of the highly anticipated documentary "Klitschko, against the ropes" has been met with great controversy. A seemingly innocent section of the documentary where the brothers speak of playing in radioactive river water has been widely regarded in the west to mean something far more sinister, many in the boxing world believe they have now unlocked the secret to Klitschko like success and it is threatening to tear the very fabric of our beloved sport apart.

    On the 28rd of May, only three days after the Premier of the documentary, news broke that Evander Holyfield had moved his training camp to Pripyat, a small town outside Chernobyl. Evander was unusually quite when asked by journalists about the contentious move but a media representative was quoted as saying 'the exorbitant costs of training camps in the US as well as the overwhelming media interest in his fights have led Evander to find a cheaper, alternative location where he will be able to concentrate on his training without intense media scrutiny.'

    Given the worldwide media circus that surrounded Evander's 'Fight of the Decade' candidate against Shermon Williams in January, most annalists took this news at face value and the story quickly died down. But more was to come.

    Reports had started to come in from trusted media outlets in the UK that David Haye had recruited famous Physicist Doctor Stephen Hawking to his team of advisers. These reports turn out to be premature though as David later released a media statement revealing that he was unable to reach an agreement because the doctors offer amounted to a slave contract. Instead he signed Audley Harrison as his scientific adviser stating it was due to massive demand from the British public.

    Worse was to come on May 30 as Manny Pacquiao revealed to Jay Leno on the Tonight Show that he has a Nuclear Physicist on his payroll and considers him an integral part of his inner circle. While casual fans thought this to be Manny thinking 'outside the box', alarm bells were starting to ring and the boxing world was buzzing.

    Within hours, self appointed Heavyweight Champion James Toney had fronted media to give his take on the issue. "You can't trust these bitches, they be cheating. Ain't no Physics in boxing. Boxing is bout Power, speed and force, ain't no Physics."

    Toney was not the only one to take a keen interest. Not long after scientists reveled that this new potential PED could actually be ingested, Dan Rafiel started covering the story. Stating in his blog a list of all fighters he "knew" currently use it and which fight results should be changed to no contests.

    Seeing the storm front approaching, the President of the World Anti Doping Agency, John Fahey last week called an emergency meeting with officials from the IOC, FIFA and other major world sporting bodies to discuss what he called 'an imminent threat to the integrity of international sport'. Early reports suggest that the majority of delegates are in favor of moving decisively on the issue and definitive action will be forthcoming.

    But the question remains, with the major players in world sport moving to stamp out this threat, will Boxing's sanctioning bodies follow suit? Will we see Gamma rays added to the list of banned substances or will Yellow Cake start finding its way onto dinner plates across the boxing world?

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  2. Dustaine

    Dustaine Guest

    The "unnatural speed" of Vlad is because he's too slow even for his size?
     
  3. pipe wrenched

    pipe wrenched ESB ELITE SQUAD Full Member

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    "Power, speed, and force...aint no Physics"......LMFAO!!:lol:
     
  4. Nosbor

    Nosbor Boxing Addict banned

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    In all seriousness; It is the Americans who are using the most gear, by far, in every sport that they compete. American's have failed the most IOC drug tests by a long shot but seem to be the first ones throwing out accusations about the practices and preparations of non domestic athletes.

    On a final note; The TS is clever, funny read...
     
  5. Predator

    Predator Guest

    [ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ip_a70QCtCQ&feature=channel_video_title[/ame]
     
  6. Nosbor

    Nosbor Boxing Addict banned

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    Everyone os on PED's, just do not exercise double standards and change the criteria when it fits an agenda.
     
  7. HAYEDAJOKE

    HAYEDAJOKE Well-Known Member Full Member

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  8. RightCross

    RightCross Grandmaster of Boxing Full Member

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    :rofl
     
  9. fan johnny

    fan johnny Active Member Full Member

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  10. joeboxer

    joeboxer Well-Known Member Full Member

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    This thread is a waste of time.
     
  11. kinski

    kinski Well-Known Member Full Member

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    Roid Jones!!!
     
  12. AbbeyFN

    AbbeyFN Active Member Full Member

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    I agree. People are ignorant even debating this issue. PEDs are very common in the sport.

    Heck, I've used them.
     
  13. Showbox Mike

    Showbox Mike Member Full Member

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    Threads like these should be immediately deleted.
     
  14. Squire

    Squire Let's Go Champ Full Member

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  15. bremen

    bremen Boxing Addict Full Member

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    Wow, EXPLOSIVE news. This story will go NUCLEAR!