Deontay "Bombay cabbie Squad" Wilder

Burger Squad

Worst champ since Michael Bentt, and he even had a better resumé

 

--Knocked out badly by an unknown LHW in amatuers
--ALSO, OUTBOXED badly by a Polish Sausage in the amatuers
--Squeaked by with a bronze medal somehow in the Olympics
--Put down by morbidly obese Dustin "Big Worm" Nichols with a "Check-Jab"
--Put down heavily and almost out by career loser Harold "Hard Roc" Sconiers
--Built much of his career by beating sad corpses like Harrison and Lyakhovich
--Brought in personal friend Malik Scott to take an obvious dive
--Did not fight the real champ for his "title" but a Don King manufactured Buffet champion
--Knocked down by 2 Wlad jabs and OUT with one medium left hook in sparring
--Destroyed and almost ktfo'd by Haye in sparring
--Rocked heavily by a Firtha jab
--Could not defeat a very ill Stiverne as convincingly as Demetrice King
--Could not even knock a very ill Stiverne down like Rossy
--Some of the most shameful opponents for his "title defenses" that the world has ever seen, showing his low self esteem
--Rocked badly and almost out vs substitute teacher Molina ("Drummer Boy")
--He did not perform as well agasint Molina as Arreola OR ASHANTI JORDAN, both of whom knocked him out in 1
--Eye busted up and made to look like a gargoyle by Duhaupas ("The Reptile"), a French pastry chef
--Sold as a nice guy, but actually spends his time beating up hookers and mental patient Charlie Zelenoff, who are ironically his best opponents
--Dispresects great fighters like Tyson and Klitschko
--Now trying to claim that Fury's "courageous" win somehow makes him champion.
--Avoiding Povetkin like the plague
--Seems to be using a new tactic,probably to mask steroid use, of not allowing his pathetic opponents a full camp
--Was considering Wawryck, knocked out in 3 by his mandatory, as an opponent
--Offered a shot to Adamek, a shot to pieces 39 year old former LHW who is 1-2 in his last three, but only allowed him a 6 week camp.
--Avoided Briggs and Bronco Billy Wright, shot fighters who carry AARP cards
--Will fight an unemployed Soccer Hooligan named Szpilka? on 4 weeks notice, and will underpay him, overfeed and hooker him up
--Wilder's team, the "Burger Squad", keeps removing and scrubbing the Internet of all of his shameful knockdowns and ktfo's; mostly while attempting a bad attempt at the "Ali Shuffle", which will now be called the "Burger Bungle".
--Got punked out badly by unemployed, fur coat wearing soccer hooligan Spzilka at face off for their upcoming "title" fight
-- Was being outclassed by undersized, unemployed, glorified bum, fur coat wearing, soccer hooligan Spzilka for 9 rounds
-- Was clearly intimidated by Tyson Fury after landing a lucky punch against undersized, unemployed, glorified bum, fur coat wearing, soccer hooligan Spzilka
-- When intimidated by Fury, had to resort to his pathetic catchphrase, causing embarrassment to, and for, everyone associated with the Wilder camp.

 

It will be great. It will add something wonderful to list of his accomplishments

 

Sconiers. The consumate career loser. Deserves a rematch