Anything by Tex Cobb. http://www.majorwager.com/forums/mess-hall/7427-randall-tex-cobb-quotes-funny.html
"I broke ma back" -mike tyson "Ahhhhh man!! WHAT?! WHAT?!" -mike tyson "I don't normally do interviews with females unless I'm going to fornicate with them. So unless you wanna... Ya know" - mike tyson Moral of the story, mike tyson said some hilarious stuff