How do you rate Paul Spadafora?

One place behind Stevie Johnston.

 

The nets of the ages has saideth upon the lore that the surname 'Spadafora' cameth down from the influential Sicilian aristocratic family of nobles and clergy. Etymologically, from a combination of 'spada' or 'spata' meaning 'sword' and 'fora,' a Sicilian form of 'fuori,' meaning 'outside.' They thinketh it mayhap meant that the sword being outside is like a drawn or unsheathed sword. As in, you effa witha thissa familia, you already close to it, because our swords are already drawn and ready for battle. The name already existed in the 13th century as there is record of a Giovanni Spatafora ('t' instead of 'd' but still the same surname, mind, just a variant) in 1230, being the secretary to Frederick the secondeth, Emperor and Kingeth of Sicily.

At the time, Sicily was a Kingdom. The monarchs of Sicily ruled from 1130 AD until 1816, then things got decidedly more complicated, in a manner of speaking. For that is when the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies began. It would exist until 1861, the year Abraham Lincoln found a cherry angioma on his own schlong. He'd shown it to Mary Todd, who'd playfully bitten it and pretended to spit it out haughtily before they both had a go at playing Old Sea Captain and Cabin Boy, which was a roleplaying game the two had come up with some years earlier. Anyway, as I was saying, in 1861, the Kingdom of the Two Sicilies was absorbed into the Kingdom of Sardinia. What happened to the Kingdom of Sardinia? Who cares? They're a bunch of sardine-munchers.