I feel like quiting

Im 0-9 as an amatuer been training 4 years youve got no reason at all to consider quitting

 

Kiniumi you are in that rancid boxing Alberta organization with no fighters. Why doesn't your gym switch over to WBCPRAIRIES? Either that or go pro.

 

Here's a few things I have learned:

1) An old football coach once said this: The first time you quit, it's hard; the next time, it's a little easier; after that, you don't even think about it.

Boxing may or may not be for you. But if you're going to quit, first give it your best shot. If you find it's not for you, quit on your own terms knowing you've given it your all. If you enjoy the training, stick to that and don't worry about the sparring for a while.

But if you just up and quit out of frustration, you're probably not going to like the guy you see in the mirror. And the lessons you learn about trying to work through the adversity will stick with you long after your boxing days are done.

2) Focus on the process, not the results. If you're putting in the work, if you're doing what you can to get a little bit better every day, if you try to finish each day strong ... the results will follow the process.

The process is what you do every day to get better. You can do all of that well and still come up short -- in a fight, in sparring, whatever -- but if you KEEP doing that then you will see improvement.

Don't measure yourself against others. Not everyone is on the same path, the same timetable. Some mature or improve more quickly than others. Measure yourself against yourself -- are you getting better? If not, break it down and work with your coach to find out why and then apply the solutions to see if you can improve just one little bit each day or each week.

And this goes for your brother and his job. All due respect, but f*** him and his job. Has nothing to do with you. What matters is you finding a place in life where you're content. If you are not, find ways you can make your life better. I've got one brother who is having enormous success right now and another who isn't ... so what? I'm happy with my lot right now.

Life is about this: wanting what you have, not getting what you want. Look around for the things in your life that bring you happiness or satisfaction or make you content.

Make a list each morning or night of things you are grateful for: it can be a good weather day or the fact that you have a job at all so you have some money to pay your bills, or for a friendship or a good fight you got to watch. Learn to pay attention to things around you that you are grateful for, and show that gratitude in your actions.

There was a time some 10 years ago when I hit rock bottom in many ways: personally, professionally, financially, etc. I had my house, thank goodness, but literally two stick chairs and a little TV with no cable that got 3 channels, two of them fuzzy. And I finally got a DVD player and had like 3 or 4 DVDs. But I was content, because I was at such a low point right before that. And I had a few true friends -- they would loan me DVDs or come over to watch.

What you have, it sounds like, is low self esteem. Now this is a secret nobody tells you, but do you know how to get better self esteem? You do esteemable things. You get up and go for a run and work out your body. You do something nice for someone, especially if they don't even know you're the one who did it. You treat people around you with respect, not because of who they are but because of who you are, and who you want to be. You clean up your living space to make it nicer. You open a door for a little old lady or help her with her bags. At the end of the day, you review your day and try to think of three or four positive things you did that day, and you focus on those -- and you make sure during the day that you know you're going to make this little checklist of good things you did that day, so you have motivation to do something good.

3) My experience as a coach is that in boxing, improvement comes in quantum leaps ... guys are kind of stuck at the same level for weeks on end, they work on things and can't quite put them together ... and then the light bulb comes on and you see the leap in improvement. That punch or combination or footwork that just leaves you baffled as you try to get it, one day itcomes together and, bang, you've made a major improvement. Works the same way with conditioning, it sort of kicks in after a while.

4) You sound like someone a coaching friend of mine describes as "having too many socks in the top drawer." Which is to say you're overthinking things. You need to learn to clear your mind and focus on being in the moment ... when you're in the gym hitting the bag or mitts or shadowboxing or doing exercise, that's where your mind should be ... you have to discipline yourself to not let the mind wander to these past things (bullying, whatever) that are holding you back.

When you're hitting the bag, don't picture the bully. Picture the bag. Focus on the point you're trying to hit and on your technique. This is a mind game.

This is an example of why people say boxing is 90 percent mental and 10 percent physical. I don't know if the percentages are right, but all the physical ability in the world doesn't help if the mind is holding you back from using it.

My experience is that talking about these things, verbalizing them, often causes them to lose power over us. So talk to your coach, talk to your gym mates, talk to your parents or your friends or whoever. Be frank. Posting here is good, but talking is better.

5) Failure is not a person, it is an event. Everyone fails at something, sometime. It doesn't make THEM a failure, it's something that happened. Don't define yourself by your failures. Define yourself by how you react to them.

Sorry, I'm not able to find a way to copy and paste this, so I have to post a URL. This is a list of Abraham Lincoln's failures before he became arguably the greatest president in U.S. history, and one of the great leaders of all time. And he failed at damn near everything:

http://www.rogerknapp.com/inspire/lincoln.htm

6) Finally, I have learned this: the only things I control in this world are my attitude and my actions. I can't make you or anyone else do something. I can't make the world give me the breaks I want. I don't have a universal remote control that allows me to control the universe.

I can control what I do, and I can control my attitude about it. I can either have a rotten attitude or I can have a good attitude. If I have a rotten attitude, I have a rotten day. If I have a good attitude, I have a good day.

I hope that helps. Keep it simple and focus on taking things one minute, one hour and one day at a time.

 

Things are tough right now ... but you'll find the toughness to get through it come out better for it.