I'm retiring from the fantasy fight business

Yeah, it's a tough racket. Then these kids come along with their new-fangled fantasy matches. I'm not making them anymore, no more for me (although i'll still be posting in yours!). So here are my ten favourites with picks, to mark the occsion of my retirement Who do you think would win these fights? And feel free to list your own ten favourites.

They're all over 15 rounds, they all have a sane ruleset but with a leniant rather than strict referee.


1 - Sugar Ray Robinson v Charley

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. I think about this one most days. Burley was just as fast prime-prime, I think, he would be the puncher in the fight, he had the better reach, was stronger...but Robinson had that killer instinct and I would suggest he put his punches together better. Also, he's got such a great chin that you have to imagine him standing up to Burley's very very best and that being the difference. In addition to Robinson's superior mobility, this add's up to a hornet's nest for Burley, who liked fighting busy men but probably wouldn't like fighting this one. There are enough contemporary observers who saw both that picked Burley to make me wonder, and there is certainly something to the view that Charley's more economical style might be the thing that would carry the day in a fifteen round fight...but I've got to go with my head on this one and pick Sugar by a very tight decision. It's possible that Burley would get the nod though, and i'd expect him to pick one up in a trilogy.

2 - Archie Moore v Roy

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. Mainly because I seem to be the only guy in the wider world who thinks Archie would win this one. And I'm no Jones hater, i pick Roy over Charles (which can get you banned from the classic forum). I just think that - if you have a balarina with serious power who is near impossible to catch but is vulnerable if you can do so, put him in with the all time knockout king who also happens to be a master trapsetter. I mean - it seems like a no-brainer to me, honestly! Moore KO9 whilst behind on the cards.

3 - Jimmy Wilde v Midget

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. There's not enough about Midget on the forum, which is a shame, because he's exactly the type of fighter that needs illuminating. Turned pro at 15 and had a 15 year ring career. He was a switch hitter and an inovator with an awkward fast-paced style and in his peak year, 1930, before the extra-corricular activities (Mae West) took the inevitable toll, I think he would have beaten the lauded Wilde in an exciting if technically suspect decision. Wolgast win points.

4 - Joe Louis v Muhammad Ali. Again, i'm almost alone in the world picking Joe Louis to win this one. I think that the most important punch in the fight would be the Ali jab, however, and how seriously he uses it. I don't rate Ali's jab with the elite jabs. I think he often paws with it, and he sometimes throws it with an extended mitt, using it to gather points rather than as a toll of destruction like Liston or Holmes. If i'm wrong about that, I'm wrong about this fight. If Louis can roll out of the way/parry enough of these jabs, if round 9, 10, 11 comes and he isn't too busted up, I think he'd trap Ali, knock him out. Being in with a stalker of Louis's calibre would be no fun for The Butterfly. Louis's style means that Ali is constantly on the move, throwing a lot of punches, busy. His style, though brilliant, is not an economical one. Louis works at the very height of economy, his footwork is grossly underated, he takes 4 steps where another guy might need 6, where Ali takes 5 bouncing ones. His glide may be his undoing here, because when he has to start coming down for moments he's dealing with maybe the greatest puncher of them all. Louis TKO15 in an absolute thriller and i'm quite happy to admit I might be wrong. (But I think i'm right).

5 - Jiro Watanabe v Khaosai

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. Both southpaws, which could turn out for the worse, but Watanabe was technically brilliant and quick, Galaxy the definitive walk in slugger at the weight. This fight appeals to me because of the sense of inevitability that Galaxy brings, despite it all, style disadvantage, early KD's, he tends to be the one having his arm raised at the end of the fight. But Watanabe was so precise and correct, I don't think he could be ruffled - in addition he could bang a little bit, stopping plenty of guys at title level. I think that Watanabe wins a technical decision around 10 or 11 on cuts having had his lead stripped away in an evenly balanced fight.

6 - Holman Williams v Harry

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. Two middlweights of whom absolutley no fight footage exsists. Williams dropped a very close, disputed (by some - not me) decision to Jake LaMotta when way, way past prime whilst Jake sat astride his formidable peak - in some ways it was a retributive fight for Williams - on paper. I'm sure it stung like a ***** for the perma-ducked Williams (peak version). I think it's fair to say that Holman was a class above Jake - which puts him firmly in Harry Greb's class. Greb's swarming, darting style would be the ultimate test for Holman's deluxe counterpunching style and would probably be to much for him in the end - but I suspect Holman would have his moments of glory against a man whose legend he might share had he shared his skin colour. Greb WPTS in a double barreled masterclass for the ages, maybe something like 8-6-1 in rounds.

7 - Dick Tiger v Jake

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. Both great fighters, both monsterously strong, both huge middleweights, both short at five feet eight, both come to wage war and despise the boxer. This would make Hearns-Hagler look friendly. LaMotta would batter into a lead, I think, and he may also be the only Middle with a better set of whiskers than Tiger. Chin won't matter here. Probably jab won't matter here. Durability, stamina and strength will be the keys to this fight, and I think perhaps Tiger dealt slightly better with the torture these guys had to go through to make the weight. Dick would surge down the stretch violently out-monstering Jake in a thriller for the ages. Tiger SD LaMotta.

8 - Sam Langford v Ezzard

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. The cobra was smother but the tar baby was more elemental. I think when it came to the absolute grind a sustained body attack would see Charles wilt in the very late stages. Langford KO13 Charles whilst behind on the cards, Sam takes his medicine and a beating to secure a badly needed KO.

9 - Peter Jackson v John Sullivan. Duck makes me sick. I don't like chicken either. "I'll lick any sonofabitch in the house" ought to be changed to "white sonofabitch". I pick Jackson. Why not? Sullivan was quick but Jackson was very mobile, maybe the first truly mobile big man. He could hit with either hand, too and had durability to match Sullivan's, if anyone did. Given the rules i've set in the thread , I think Jackson rushes into a lead and has enough left to close strong picking up an easy decision, 10-5 on the cards, enough to bring him in despite the two flash KD's he suffered in the middle part of the figth. Jackson WPTS.

10-Ike Williams v Roberto

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?

 

You just made my night! How nice that that should stop you, and how rare.

 

Magoo, you've been drinking too.

 

Beer at lunch, how very Scottish of you, congratultions.

 

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Sold!!

 

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Only if the money's right.