Jean-Claude Van Damme Wants a Pro Fight: Thanks Geritol

Discussion in 'MMA Forum' started by wolunt, Feb 2, 2010.


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  1. wolunt

    wolunt New Member Full Member

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    Jan 26, 2010
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    “Kumite Express leaves in five minutes!”

    At the age of 49, Jean Claude Van Damme (yes—the high-powered action movie star) has expressed a sincere interest in setting up a professional kickboxing fight in a regulated K-1 bout against Somluck Kamsing, a 35-year-old former Olympic boxing gold medalist, in March of this year.

    [PAUSE FOR LAUGHTER]

    [PAUSE AGAIN FOR THE DISGUST TO SET IN]

    Are you starting to sense an up-and-coming trend, fight fans?

    “You always told me to keep an open mind!”—Frank Dux, Bloodsport

    Sure, Randy Couture is 46 years of age, and Mark Coleman is 45, but can they do the splits between two chairs?

    I think not.

    “The Muscles from Brussels” has been studying martial arts since the age of 10.

    At the age of 16, Van Damme took up ballet, which he then studied for several years. In hindsight, Van Damme describes his ballet experience as being “one of the most difficult sports” to train for.

    “If you can survive a ballet workout, you can survive a workout in any other sport.”

    Kinda makes Herschel Walker’s comments about mixed-martial arts as being “the most difficult thing that [he] has ever done,” seem a bit ridiculous.

    Obviously, Walker had never tried ballet.

    And please don’t take what I’m saying as being sarcastic. Ballet is a beautiful, graceful, and incredibly precise form of physical and artistic expression.

    Just the thought of Van Damme landing a roundhouse pirouette upside Kamsing’s noggin is enough to give me goose bumps all over my naked, sweaty body.

    [PAUSE FOR IMAGERY]

    Nice, eh?

    I would wish Van Damme all the best of luck, but the truth is, he doesn’t need it. He has the memory and experience of his 18 amateur fights (from over 30 years ago) to draw from.

    Clearly, the Olympic boxing champion stands no chance.


    http://bit.ly/9bhmlC
     
    wolunt, Feb 2, 2010
    wolunt, Feb 2, 2010
    #1
  2. Mazallan

    Mazallan ESB yes man Full Member

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    Jun 25, 2009
    He would KTFO any current mma champion at any weight.
     
    Mazallan, Feb 2, 2010
    Mazallan, Feb 2, 2010
    #2
  3. HeavyT

    HeavyT Boxing Addict Full Member

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    Feb 9, 2009
    I posted about this not long ago.... he's been talking about this for years now, it won't happen. If it did though? I#d love to see him succeed, for sheer comedy value.
     
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    #3
  4. steele311

    steele311 Wanna Dance? Full Member

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    Jan 29, 2009
    Wow. He looks very sickly in that pic above...
     
    steele311, Feb 2, 2010
    steele311, Feb 2, 2010
    #4
  5. MaliSlamusrex

    MaliSlamusrex Boxing Addict Full Member

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    Nov 10, 2008
    At 49 JCVD could be a great coach and teacher to young students.. there is no need for him to fight at 49.

    if he is going to say “If you can survive a ballet workout, you can survive a workout in any other sport.” he is delusional, MMA as a sport in 2010 requires a 3-6 different MMA skill set and 1 of them has to be Judo wrestling or BJJ... Van Dame does non... he will get hurt.
     
    MaliSlamusrex, Feb 2, 2010
    MaliSlamusrex, Feb 2, 2010
    #5
  6. achillesthegreat

    achillesthegreat FORTUNE FAVOURS THE BRAVE Full Member

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    Couture, Coleman, Walker, now JCVD. Who knows but he is fighting a legit fighter. However, he has a legit background BUT father time is a ****.
     
    achillesthegreat, Feb 2, 2010
    achillesthegreat, Feb 2, 2010
    #6
  7. MaliSlamusrex

    MaliSlamusrex Boxing Addict Full Member

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    Nov 10, 2008
    In out gym there is a divide 18-35 and 35+ the guys who are 18-35 are killing machines and the guys who are 35+ are coaches and teachers if your first fight is at 49 and you have never stepped into a mma ring your going to get hurt badly.

    And i don't want that for Van Dame, Bloodsport was awsome, Any guy who said "very good but brick not hit back" can't get ko'd in a mma ring"

     
    MaliSlamusrex, Feb 2, 2010
    MaliSlamusrex, Feb 2, 2010
    #7
  8. E-B

    E-B Stay Alpha Full Member

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    Dec 9, 2009
    K-1, not MMA...
     
    E-B, Feb 2, 2010
    E-B, Feb 2, 2010
    #8
  9. HeavyT

    HeavyT Boxing Addict Full Member

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    Feb 9, 2009
    Yeah... I mean he would do better than people like Canseco surely? and yeah, K1 not MMA.
     
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    #9
  10. Jovanie

    Jovanie Boxing rookie Full Member

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    he could do this BLINDFOLDED :nut
     
    Jovanie, Feb 2, 2010
    Jovanie, Feb 2, 2010
    #10
  11. KTFO

    KTFO Guest


    True this is. Drained? Aids? :admin
     
    KTFO, Feb 2, 2010
    KTFO, Feb 2, 2010
    #11
  12. HeavyT

    HeavyT Boxing Addict Full Member

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    Hes nearly 50 and hes an ex(?) coke addict.
     
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    #12
  13. HomicideHenry

    HomicideHenry Many Talents, No Successes Full Member

    2,090
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    Feb 4, 2009
    LMFAOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!! :rofl

    Van Damme is gonna die!!! :lol:
     
    HomicideHenry, Feb 2, 2010
    HomicideHenry, Feb 2, 2010
    #13
  14. don owens

    don owens Boxing Junkie Full Member

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    Jeanette Claudia van Madam was always a *****. He wants a fight now? Maybe he should have fought Frank Ziti. Ziti knocked his ass down in a bar in New York. Jeanette did nothing about it. He was always a *****.
     
    don owens, Feb 2, 2010
    don owens, Feb 2, 2010
    #14
  15. HeavyT

    HeavyT Boxing Addict Full Member

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    He was sucker punched by a bodyguard twice his size.... hardly a *****.
     
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    HeavyT, Feb 2, 2010
    #15
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