Jeff Thomas love and appreciation thread- post you favourite things about jeffro here

Generally I don't share much about my real life on here. But since we're all opening our hearts...

Last March I watched that Brian Cox documentary about the universe. In it he discussed the end of the universe. When I was younger the thought of dying scared me, but it had faded as a concern. I was too busy living my life.

Then I saw that show and it nearly finished me. I couldn't sleep for days at the idea of everything coming to an end. It haunted me. And it just wouldn't go away. I felt disconnected from my work, from my friends, my girlfriend. It was like I was dead already.

That is the closest I've ever been to depression. While my behaviour over the next few months wasn't entirely down to that awful feeling, it did play a part. I started talking to another girl, agreeing to meet up for sex (although that was also down to my now-ex being a complete git to me, but still my responsibility) because I just wanted to feel something. I became withdrawn and obstinate at work, my family started to notice I wasn't right.

I went on holiday with my sister and brother-in-law to the US. It was the best time I think I've ever had. I realised what was wrong in my life. When I came back I split up with my girlfriend, moved to another job in my business for six months, refocused on my hobbies and just tried to get over myself. I started planning to move to the US (2014 I hope!), getting my dream career under way (slow progress, but progress all the same) and getting a girlfriend who actually cares about how I feel.

All that time, I kept asking myself, what happens after we go? There are no answers, none that make any sense. With all the people that have died on this planet, do you really think Heaven has space for them all?

Then I realised that my life is too short to worry about something I'll never understand until it happens. If I die and there's nothing, well it''s not like I can do much about it. So why waste my youth on worrying about it.

Over the course of a couple of months I pulled myself back together. By Christmas I finally felt like I was back to who I was. A little battered, but me again.

The idea of there being nothing scares me, but not as much as the idea of getting to the end and realising I'd wasted my life. Sometimes I wish I could take comfort in God, an afterlife, etc. But in my heart I can't believe it, so I am going to make sure I have as much fun as I can while I can.

 

No you can't.

 

Best post of the thread :thumbsup

 

A very heartfelt post, DF. I'm not sure how old you are, from this posts you're fairly young. Before this I thought you were in your 50's, no offence meant.

I suppose the thing that placate's me most is the opposite what does you. Knowing that my life is but a tiny blip in history and relatively insignificant makes me feel a little calmer about my life.

 

I'm 30 - and actually your last point is what does give me comfort now. When I realised I'm not going to change the whole world on its axis, I just chilled out and became content to change my own world.

No offence taken though.

 

Great, heartfelt post Mr. Taylor. I salute you for sharing that on here. Keep following your ambitions, get your dream job, a caring missus and live a happy life. :thumbsup

Where abouts in the US would you fancy living, mate?

 

What's your dream job? Boxing journo?

 

Reported.

 

Referencing the Lounge in the British forum is a bannable offence. :hi:

 

Well I wouldn't know anything about that, Cagewm. Either way, you're going down town.

 

You echo a situation I went through.

For a long time I too was afraid of the prospect of dying. It started at around 11 when I lost my grandfather, hit me bigtime.
Throughout secondary school it was there, always in the background, sometimes coming to the surface.
It effected my social and relationship development, I was pretty much a loner, couple of mates but no friends. On top of this my school work went to ****. I went from credit classes to foundation in no time.
My family is hard and although understanding I could see the disappointment in my fathers eyes because of the direction i was taking, i was going to be the one to break out, make something of my life and it was turning sour. But I couldn't tell him because he'd just laugh off my fear of my own mortality, ridicule me. My mother was to drunk most of the time to even notice my simple existence.
Then I had my first wank. Felt better.

 

good post above df,i think when we get older we get more laid back about things,happy with what we have got,your absulutly right,we can't change the world but we can change ourselfs and our life's for the better.

christ,i had a child at 21, 15 years later we had another,****,that changed my life,prob saved it as well,me and the wife were just on the line of thinking "well,our sophie is old enough to look after herself,its now time for the parents to enjoy life,lets go away with mates again,get pissed,make love"

the make love bit was the mistake,came back from Portugal she was ****ing preggers atsch

 

Well done fella x

Very intelligent guy :thumbsup

 

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