Micheal Gerard Tyson has been measured as being able to deliver 6,000 PSI

Geology Today Vol. 233

Issue 4.

Coal, Diamonds and Micheal Gerard Tyson.

As we all know in theory, you can make a diamond from coal, but it is very difficult and the diamonds created are quite minuscule. Diamond is a form of pure carbon and natural diamonds are formed very deep inside the earth, when carbon is exposed to very high pressures and temperatures. The other main form of carbon is called graphite - it is the same stuff that your pencil leads are made from.

Artifical diamonds are made in industry from graphite because it is a very pure form of carbon. You need temperatures of over 1000 degrees Celsius and many thousands of atmospheres pressure for this process, so it is very expensive.

Previously, only very expensive machinery was able to conjure the 3500 PSI required to compress the carbon molecules and facilitate the transformation. One such machine, a vacuum pressure oscillating fabricator- or VPOF- is found in the physics laboratory at Berkley; the rest are mainly in the Shizenpoff laboratories in Dusseldorf, Germany - a privately funded facility used mainly for independent research.

Micheal Gerard Tyson- previous heavyweight champion from the United States of America- has been found on location in Shizenpoof recently, though. A direct pound per square inch comparison has been underway when word of the former boxer's unusual punching power begged the question; how much force can this man conjure?

Initially begun as entertainment, many of the scientists and Shizenpoof boxing fans due to current heavyweight champion Wladimir Kiltschko's local celebrity, Micheal Gerard Tyson underwent a series of PSI tests to accurately measure the man's punching power.

The results have become legendary. As previously mentioned an inordinate amount of pressure, slightly more than 3500 PSI, is required of machines like the VPOF to transform coal into diamond. Micheal Gerard Tyson has been measured as being able to deliver 6,000 PSI - a shocking number that should be, based on every formal principle of biology and physics, humanly impossible.

"I like to punch real hard." Tyson explains when asked how he can muster such force. "I figure, if I'm going to punch- why not punch stuff real hard?"

Currently Micheal Gerard Tyson is being retrofitted with titanium alloyed gloves to allow him to strike coal. The result, should be, for the first time in recorded history- a human being who hits harder than any known lifeforms ever discovered; and can turn coal into diamonds with a single blow.

"Some people say I'm not human. I don't know. Mike Tyson feels human." The former champion tells us. "I eat, fu-ck and **** just like the rest of humans. I just punch really hard."

The Shizenpoof clinic has contracted Tyson to replace their VPOF machinery and conduct further scientific research. How the man does not shatter his fist upon impact is still unknown but further tests will be reported in this journal.

-Courtesy of the Shizenpoof clinic. Written by: Dr. Pook-Lung-Zum, Physics and Engineering.-

 

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