Hi Guys looking for a subjective opinion, I’m writing a book on fantasy boxing fights and trying to decide what works better to introduce each fighter either past tense or present. The fight itself will be written in present tense but not sure on the set up below is an example, any feedback is much appreciated Past tense The tale of the tape indicates a very evenly balanced set of boxers. Louis was one inch taller, had three inches in reach and about six pounds in weight; very marginal benefits. In terms of power both hit very hard and could easily knock the other out., Both were very fast with their hands, and while Dempsey had the stronger chin;, stamina, heart and ring IQ favour Louis, but not by a lot. Present tense The tale of the tape indicates a very evenly balanced set of boxers. Louis is one inch taller, has three inches in reach and about six pounds in weight; very marginal benefits. In terms of power both hit very hard and could easily knock the other out., Both are very fast with their hands, and while Dempsey has the stronger chin;, stamina, heart and ring IQ favour Louis, but not by a lot. Fight in present tense The build-up to the fight gets a bit spicy with Louis claiming Dempsey has avoided the best Black boxers for fear of what he will do to him in the ring. This riles up the Manassa Mauler, who states he is scared of no man and never intentionally avoided anyone; his job is to fight whoever is put in front of him. A raucous crowd is in the arena tonight, expecting fireworks from the first bell. The crowd is very much split down the middle with both fighters having large contingencies of fans passionately cheering them on. Once in the ring neither man takes their eyes off the other. Louis is pacing back and forth while Dempsey stares ahead. The bell sounds and these two lions are finally unleashed. Dempsey comes charging forward and starts throwing all manner of fast and hard shots, overwhelming Louis and forcing him to tie up. In between blocking the shots, the odd one slips through and Louis clearly feels the power and ferocity that Dempsey has. Once separated, Louis starts throwing some beautiful combinations and Dempsey is momentarily stunned. As the round progresses Louis notices Dempsey’s lack of technical boxing skills and starts to establish his jab, his fast hands beating Dempsey to the punch. Round One goes to Louis. Into the second and again Louis is taking a slightly more measured approach, using his jab to nullify Dempsey’s attacks. Dempsey is still having some successes, landing a few hurtful shots, but not enough to truly worry Louis. The Brown Bomber is already sensing the frustration of his opponent and immediately ups the pace, throwing some blistering three and four-punch combinations that are starting to have an effect. Round Three and Dempsey is now fully aware of the gap in skills between the two. Under normal circumstances that wouldn’t be too much of an issue because Dempsey has two great equalisers – his speed and dynamite in both fists. However, on this night he just happens to be facing a guy who is just as fast and hits just as hard. Dempsey has to get in striking distance to actually land some meaningful punches. The problem he’s having is that getting in this position would mean entering Louis’ optimal range for his attacks. During the mid-point of the round Louis has completely taken over and actually knocks Dempsey down with thirty seconds to go. He manages to rise but the next two rounds consist of Louis using his incredible speed, reflexes and power to dismantle Dempsey. After another knockdown in Round Six the fight is waved off, with Dempsey completely out on his feet. Verdict: TKO win to Louis in Round Six.
If you are describing boxers attributes before segueing into a hypothetical fight then I would use present tense (after all you are not describing something that has already happened). If you are describing past fights then use the past tense. Disclaimer; I'm an idiot and borderline illiterate.
I actually like the current tense as these are hypotheticals that never happened, so they'd be going in real time.
I think it flows best that way. Just my opinion. Is a way of indicating to the reader the difference between the normal narration and the fight itself.
This is my first post on here, so apologies in advance if I mess up formatting etc. This is a fabulous idea for a book. I think using past tense for your introductions and present tense for the fights is a great option. The present tense can bring immediacy to your descriptions, so it's well suited to conveying the drama and excitiement of the boxing ring. Also, it will have more of an impact if you confine it to those sections. In your writing, I'd think about reducing the number of modifiers you're using. In your example of an introductory passage, you've used 'very' four times. Most pro writers would tell you that these don't add anything. They're like the writing equivalent of litter, cluttering up your sentences to no good end. This idea of reducing clutter is most important when you're describing your matches. Personally, I'd look for every opportunity to be direct and to the point. For example: How about: 'The bell sounds and the two lions are unleashed. Dempsey charges forward, throwing a smorgasbord of fast, hard shots. Louis is overwhelmed, forced to tie up.' Smorgasbord is naff, admitted, but the overall point is to treat words like a precious commodity. You can inject some real pace into your writing just by doing that. Not all the time necessarily (and I get that you're offering analysis as you go along) but probably at the high drama start of a match. Another example: Maybe: 'To land any meaningful punches, Dempsey must get into striking distance. But doing that means entering Louis's optimal attack range.' You may prefer a more discursive style and that's fine, this is just how I'd approach it. At any rate, best of luck with it.
