Peter vs. (The Wrong) Klitschko: Celebration of the Absurd

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By William Dettloff

Leave it to boxing. There is no other business perhaps save politics that is so eager to celebrate that which should embarrass. We speak, of course, of the trumpeting that accompanied the news that a deal has been reached for Sam Peter to defend the WBC heavyweight title against Vitali Klitschko in the fall.

You’d have thought the bosses of the Democratic National Committee had emerged from a back room with an envelope containing the name of the party’s presidential nominee.

Sadly, no. It was just a bunch of fight promoters in Mexico City and the WBC, from whose cockamamie rules committee this ugly affair was borne.

“The deal was made at the 11th hour, and we are delighted,” Dino Duva, Peter’s promoter, told a publicist, who quickly typed up the news and press-released it. “Instead of going to the WBC offices for a purse bid and uncertain future, we instead were able to reach the agreement and announce it in front of the wonderful Mexican media and fans.”

We’ll leave it to you to wonder why any “Mexican media and fans” would be hanging around waiting for an announcement concerning a fight that involves no Mexicans and will not take place on the same continent as Mexico. We suspect the “media and fans” consisted of one guy named Jose who happened to be in the area and was carrying a digital camera. Technically, that qualifies.

At any rate, you’ll recall that long ago the WBC called for a box-off between Peter and James Toney to determine who would get the honor of dethroning Oleg Maskaev, who had won the title by finishing off, once and for all we can hope, Hasim Rahman.

Peter won a close decision and was told, for reasons that never have been fully articulated—probably because it couldn’t be accomplished with a straight face—that he had to fight Toney again. Okay. He did so and won again. So he got Maskaev next, right?

Not so fast.

Not wanting to miss an opportunity to win a piece of the once-revered heavyweight title against a guy so limited as Maskaev, Klitschko declared himself ready to return to the ring, and you can’t blame him for that. Hell, we’re surprised Joe Bugner didn’t announce a comeback.

With this delightful announcement came the baffling news that to no one’s knowledge, except perhaps Klitschko’s and their own, the WBC had named Klitschko their “champion emeritus.” This meant essentially that he could stroll along at any time, declare himself in the mood for a fight, and get a shot at whomever might be keeping the belt warm at that moment.

Nice work if you can get it.

Peter’s people, now having been screwed twice by the WBC but are still inexplicably desperate to hand over wads of sanctioning fees, stomped their feet and held their breath and got their shot at Maskaev, but only because they agreed to give Klitschko the first shot.

This despite the fact Klitschko has not fought in almost four years, could not get through a training camp while preparing for Rahman despite several attempts, and had to pull out of a fight with Jameel McCline last September because of yet another injury and subsequent surgery.

Of course, there is precedent for undeserving, inactive fighters leap-frogging over more deserving contender—think Ray Leonard coming out of retirement to face Marvin Hagler, or Jim Jeffries against Jack Johnson. But in those cases, there was some financial or social imperative behind it. There is neither in this case.

“We’re ecstatic,” Duva told the alleged Mexican press and fans. “It’s the best possible deal for all concerned—the fighters, promoters, and, most importantly, the fans.”

Peter-Klitschko may actually turn out to be an entertaining little slugfest. And it’s not as though there’s a slew of hungry, exciting WBC contenders we’re dying to see challenge Peter. But that’s not the point. The fight to be made at heavyweight is Peter against Wladimir Klitschko. Peter against Big Brother is fine as a spectacle between contenders.

In a sane world, that’s all it is. In this one, it’s an embarrassment that will be sold as historic.

Some miscellaneous observations from last week:

The fight-changing right hand that Timothy Bradley landed against Junior Witter validated the quaint truism that if you jump around with your chin up in the air like a rank amateur, someone sooner or later will happen along and crack it for you. The wonder is that it took 36 fights for it to happen.

I was surprised to hear Brendan Ingle tell Witter after the fifth round not to go to the body. I hadn’t heard a trainer say that since Bowe-Golota I.

If there’s anyone happier than Bradley, it’s Ricky Hatton, though for the life of me I can’t figure out why. Hatton is a far better fighter than Witter is and has no obvious reason to avoid him.

276: The number of times during the Bradley-Witter fight I wished I would go spontaneously deaf.

Hey, have you seen the new WBO ratings? Zab Judah’s shower door is rated fifth at junior welter, right behind Diego Corrales.
Froch does not rock.

Chris Byrd may get past Shaun George, who is unproved, but will find eventually that the speed advantage he enjoyed at heavyweight does not exist at 175. Then what?

If Ruslan Chagaev’s latest “illness” is to be interpreted as nature’s way of thinning the too-large herd of indifferent European heavyweights, I say bully for nature.

 

I buy it sometimes. To their credit, the writers in The Ring are still critical of DLH on certain things. Detloff, among others, bashed the PBF-DLH rematch and another writer (Jeff Ryan???) criticized DLH for claiming that his fight with Mayweather "saved boxing".

I lost count of the number of fight dates Brittley pulled out of.

 

The Ring shouldn't be blamed in this regard.

Peter is their #2 RIGHT NOW. Are they supposed to just say "Wlad is the champ because he beat the #2 contender Sam Peter 3 years ago when Peter was ranked #9"???