Sergey Alexandrovich Kovalev vs. Igor Gennadyevich Mikhalkin & Dmitry Bivol vs. Sullivan Barrera RBR

George or Lennox would be welcome return replacements for the current color commentator (in the absence of Steward, RIP). Roy is just as big a goofball as either but lacks their penchant for calm, reasoned analysis. He always just parrots the company line or finds a way to circle every comment back to himself.

 

Have to say, I'm wildly disappointed in all the fake boxing fans who chose the Showtime card over HBO for live viewing priority tonight.

@CST80 made the Showtime thread over an hour after I made this one - yet this has a quarter as many replies and less than ⅕ as many views. That's disgusting.

"Oh but it was da worlds's heavyweight title doe!"

Yeah, **** you. This was a world title doubleheader, in a better weight class.

"But-but-but the outcome in Kovalev vs. Mikhalkin was a foregone conclusion..."

Yeah, **** you. Same with the other main event. Ortiz was a what, 7/1 underdog? Besides, the outcome in the co-main event sure wasn't a foregone conclusion at all. The majority maybe favored Bivol but most saw it as an exciting, competitive match-up between top LHW's. Look me in the ****ing eye and tell me Andre freaking Dirrell vs. José Uzcátegui II was a more tantalizing co-main event. Go ahead.

"Yeah.. but, heavyweights doe!"

Yeah, **** you. Heavyweights aren't inherently any ****ing better to watch, kindly suck my filthy dick clean after watching me anally deflower your mom, and then see yourself out. No, you may not spit in my sink. You want sloppy, rock 'em sock 'em robot excitement? Put together a Lemieux vs. O'Sullivan match-up ...boom, you've just blown Wilder vs. Ortiz clear outta the ****ing water in terms of excitement and potential for either guy to be hurt at any given moment...

"Aw, c'mon IB, with heavies any single punch at any time can-"

YEAH, **** YOU. IF BOTH GUYS HAVE MASSIVE POWER RELATIVE TO THEIR CLASS AND/OR EVEN REMOTELY SHAKY WHISKERS, THAT IS EVERY BIT AS TRUE AT 154lbs. EVERY BIT AS TRUE AT 168lbs. EVERY BIT AS TRUE AT LIGHT FLY, AND LIGHT WELTER. Nobody has ever performed a study - not any of us forum nerds, let alone real scientists doing peer-reviewed **** - on there being a correlation between higher prevalence of knockouts and moving up the line graph in terms of weight. It's a myth that everyone kind of just shrugs and accepts because it "sounds convincing enough". Well, I watch a lot of boxing. It isn't true. Kayos are no more frequent and boring uneventful decisions no rarer at heavyweight than in any other division.

"Yeah okay IB but even so even if that isn't true, you have to admit, just the idea of it being heavyweights makes it more exciting. They're so...big!"

Yeah, **** you, you dumb impressionable little size queen. I'm clearly not as insecure in my masculinity as you, because I don't fetishize size and automatically conflate it with fighting ability and ferocity. There would be no disproportionate representation from heavyweights gracing a top 50 pound for pound all time punchers list, and certainly not on straight-up all-time p4p greatest h2h lists.

I skimmed around my DVR of Wilder vs. Ortiz , saw all I needed to, and replayed the KO (and the minute leading up to it) about five times. You're just a bunch of hysterical little girls, all of you, and you need to calm the **** down. Nothing special happened. A giant super heavy carefully managed paper titlist with good power and alternately average or terrible boxing skills (depending on his temperament and the conditions of the fight in progress) outlasted an old bulky plodder in a war of attrition where both got some big licks in. Big ****ing deal. If you didn't think tuning in to see the pair of Russian light heavyweight champs defend against varying degrees of live body was more interesting than waiting for Wilder to accidentally windmill Ortiz into unconsciousness (as long as Ortiz didn't accidentally uppercut him into unconsciousness first) then you're not a boxing fan. You're just a hysterical little girl who should watch bodybuilding or World's Strongest Man instead, because you're nothing but a size queen pretending to buy into the HW mystique because large men get your little sissy nuts off.

 

Derek Edwards (who just today lost a drama-free UD to Avni Yildrim, same guy Eubank Jr. annihilated) iced Jack...the very idea of him getting in the ring with Bivol gives me the shudders. They would need paramedics literally waiting on the ring apron when they rang the opening bell.

 

You do have Shabranskyy in there as the combo-breaker, where Krusher did look his old destructive self...although he was (as Lampley and Kellerman pointed out like 50 times) basically made to order...