Sugar Nikolai Valuev Tribute

Slickest boxer around

 

It's missing this.

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He's a reason why we need a Super Heavyweight Division.

 

Please. The man made a career of ducking every big puncher in the division.

 

I wish he was more active

 

That's what all the girls say too.

 

Some Sugar Niko facts:


Sugar Nikolai Valuev played Russian Roulette with a fully loaded gun and won

There is no theory of evolution. Just a list of animals Sugar Nikolai Valuev allows to live.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night, he checks his closet for Sugar Nikolai Valuev.

If you spell Sugar Nikolai Valuev in Scrabble, you win. Forever

When Sugar Nikolai Valuev does a pushup, he isn't lifting himself up, he's pushing the Earth down.

We live in an expanding universe. All of it is trying to get away from Sugar Nikolai Valuev.

Sugar Nikolai Valuev never wet his bed as a child. The bed wet itself out of fear.

Sugar Nikolai Valuev is the only man to ever defeat a brick wall in a game of tennis.

When Bruce Banner gets mad, he turns into the Hulk. When the Hulk gets mad, he turns into Sugar Nikolai Valuev.

When Sugar Nikolai Valuev plays Monopoly, it affects the actual world economy.

Sugar Nikolai Valuev has to use a stunt double when he does crying scenes.

Google won't search for Sugar Nikolai Valuev because it knows you don't find Sugar Nikolai Valuev, he finds you.

 

Magnificent, Great, Superb, Fantastic, Outstanding, Brilliant, Excellent, Marvellous, Awesome, Absolute, Transcendent, Perfect, Superior, Terrific, Ideal, Exceptional.

 

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Disgusting, slow, hirsute, troglodytic, over-achieving, pillow-punchng, greedy, stupid palooka.

 

A face only a blind grandmother could love.

 

I'm positive his face has imploded at a certain point in his life.

 

That was the one I did. It's the very least the great man deserves.

Are you part of the SNV train now? That's the power of Sugar Niko, even his harshest critics are forced to recognize his greatness.

 

What's most remarkable about him is that despite weighing so much, he still manages to be the p4p best fighter on the planet.