The genius: Mike Goldberg

There's most likely been a post about this in the past but i'm new here and i've been watching tons of fights in the past year and heard so much dumb stuff coming from Goldy, so i thought i'd share some of his finest work. Took from another site.

here we go Failquotes!



Joe Rogan: "Think of leg kicks as like in a video game. The more they take, their power goes right down."

Goldberg: "I know what you're thinking, mighty ball mighty ball DEEP DEEP DEEP!"

Joe Rogan: *Does best to ignore that and continue talking about the fight*




Mike Goldberg: "He's got him in some kind of strange choke I've never seen before!"

Joe Rogan: "That's a rear naked choke."




Joe Rogan: "Karo is wide open!"

Mike Goldberg: "Diaz smells the opening."




Mike Goldberg: "You can hear the corner speaking portuguese!"

Joe Rogan: "Uh, that's Japanese, brother"

Mike Goldberg: "I should have known that."

Joe Rogan: "You're the one married to a Japanese chick."

Mike Goldberg: "That is correct."




Frank Shamrock: "Ohhhh huge knee!"

Mike Goldberg: "Big knee!"

Frank Shamrock: "That was a huge knee!"

Mike Goldberg: "That knee was big!"




UFC 68

Goldberg: "Welcome back, Randy Couture. This fight brought to you by..."

Sylvia gets knocked down in the first 8 seconds*
Rogan: "Big right hand! Sylvia is down!"

Goldberg: "...Shooter. Starring Mark Wahlberg in theatres next Friday."






UFC 76 Machida vs. Nakamura

Mike Goldberg: "And here is Nakamura...entering the octagon for the 1st time...touching the fence for the first time."

Joe Rogan laughs: "You running out things to say?"

Mike Goldberg: "Yeah. Kinda(laughs). You? You know, you could help out and chime in once in a while..."




UFC 79 Sokoudjou Vs. Machida

Mike Goldberg: "Because SOAKoudjou is so highly touted, you almost want to sit back and watch and SOAK it in."




Mike Goldberg: "Don't forget coming up next it's Blade the series...plenty of action, violence, vampire sexuality!"

Rogan: "Vampire sexuality, what's that?"

Goldberg: "I don't know, it was on a card they put in front of me"



UFC 84 Wanderlei Silva vs Keith Jardine

After Wanderlei "The Axe Murderer" Silva knocks Keith Jardine out
Goldberg: "The Iceman is back to his winning ways!"

"The Dean of Mean" Keith Jardine vs Kerry Schall

Goldberg: "If Jardine's last name were Johnson, the nickname Dean of Mean would make no sense."



Parisyan vs Burkman

Joe Rogan: "He's getting instructions in two different languages."

Mike Goldberg: "He understands them both!"



on Travis Lutter

Mike Goldberg: "He's like the Michael Jordan of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu!"

Joe Rogan: "No, he's not"

Mike Goldberg: "Larry Bird?"

Joe Rogan: "Uhm, no."

Mike Goldberg: "Kobe Bryant?"

Joe Rogan: "..."



Couture vs Gonzaga

Joe Rogan: "Here's a beautifull left hook by Gonzaga." Mike Goldberg: "Yup, You can clearly see his nose explode there." Joe Rogan: "I don't think that was it actually, the thing that damaged his nose was in a takedown." Mike Goldberg: "Oh, Gotcha!"

Clip of Randy taking Gonzaga down (not the headbutt one)
Goldberg: "Oh yeah, you're right, thats it, pardon me." Rogan: "I don't think it was there either, i think it was in another takedown." Goldberg: "Oh."

Clip of Randy slamming Gonzaga, which caused the broken nose due to a headbutt*
Rogan: "I believe this is what caused it, watch as he takes Gonzaga down, they both collide heads, BAM, thats it, right there." Goldberg: "Oh, good call, good call."




on Kenny Florian after taking a groin shot

Goldberg: "... So you want to be an Ultimate Fighter?"




on "Lil' Evil" Jens Pulver vs. John Lewis

After "Lil' Evil" Jens Pulver knocked Lewis out*
Goldberg: ""Lil' Eagle" flies again!"

TUF 7 Finale

(on Diego Sanchez's conditioning)

Goldberg: "It must take a lot of energy just to keep that mean look on his face"




Random Quotes

Goldberg: "He's unrelentless!"

Goldberg: "You know Roy Jones Jr. respects the hands of Forrest Griffin."

Goldberg: "And here we go!"

Goldberg: "And it's all over!"

Goldberg: "That eye is rocked!"

Goldberg: "Could we be blessed with a 3rd round?"

Goldberg: "Continuing on his meteoric rise!"

Goldberg: "You know Joe, When Matt and his brother Mark Hughes were growing up they would pound each other behind the barn!"



My personal favorite being the very last one about the Hughes as i'm sure there's some truth in it. :happy

p.s: I like goldy anyways

 

not sure about the specific fight, but there's a clip about goldberg's quotes on youtube that has this one.