The Klitschko's and EVT wins... An analysis.

The importance of EVT wins has come into sharp focus in recent times. Dereck Chisora's G behaviour in the run-up to the Vitali fight, plus his tough, spirited display in the ring against the old robot resulted in a clear-cut EVT win that - in everybody’s book - eclipsed the actual significance of the result. Somewhat ironically, Chisora suffered a staggering EVT loss on the same night at the hands of David Haye when he tried to establish P4P G dominance. In the cut-and-thrust of modern boxing it is clear that EVT wins are now of more significance than the actual results of fights.

This brings me to the Klitschko’s.

You could make a case for saying Vitali claimed the first ever EVT win against Lennox Lews in 2003. Sure, retrospectively, there were other EVT wins before then... Frazier against Ali in Manila, Taylor against Chavez, Golota against Bowe... to name a few. However, back then nobody actually knew what the **** an EVT win was. There was just the vague sense something of real significance had occurred but we couldn't put our fingers on what exactly had happened. Not until the drunken, visionary Larry Merchant declared on that fateful night in Los Angeles, “Vitali has lost the fight but won the event,” were we aware that boxing needed to be re-evaluated and viewed in a whole new light. The EVT win was born. I know where I was at that exact moment and I'm sure all you guys do to.

Well since that momentous occasion, Vitali has shamefully never claimed another EVT win! As for Wlad… HE HAS NEVER CLAIMED A SINGLE EVT WIN! To put that in perspective, Chisora claimed two EVT wins in one night by spitting water in Wlad’s face then giving Vitali his hardest fight since Lewis, despite being a bigger underdog than a domestic-level American bum fighting a Euro-level athlete.

As if not winning a single EVT was bad enough, it actually gets a whole lot worse. Not only are the Klitschko’s failing to win EVT’s… they are actually having EVT wins claimed against them!

This means neither brother has a positive EVT win ratio.

Staggeringly, Wlad is actually minus 3 in EVT losses, while Vitali’s single EVT win has now been cancelled out. Here is the undisputed, empirical data for why those figures stand-up:


Wlad’s First EVT loss
Wlad’s management thought they could bring in a domestic American bum called Ross Purrity to the Ukraine and give his ass a soviet-style beat-down. Purrity’s record at that time was 24-13-1, which in real terms means more losses than Glen Johnson. Well, somebody forgot to give Purrity the script because he ended up shattering Wlad’s jaw and wrote his names in the history books by claiming the first ever EVT win against a Klitschko.


Wlad’s Second EVT Loss
This was another fight Wlad was heavily expected to win – this time against Corrie Sanders in his adopted home country of Germany after he cynically decided his own country was too backward to stage a fight fitting of his stature. In the build up to this fight he was overheard on several occasions saying he was, “going to crush the fat, semi-pro golfer.” What actually unfolded was much different. Sanders wasted little time in hitting Wlad from pillar-to-post, making him stagger round the ring like a drunken bum and flooring him four times. The ref was left with little option but to stop the fight and – uniquely – declare Sanders not only the winner… but the EVT winner.


Wlad’s Third EVT Loss
This EVT loss is actually very interesting because – just like with David Haye and his toe – Wlad tried to claim an EVT win after losing and used an unconvincing excuse which spectacularly backfired in his face. As we all know, once again Wlad was knocked silly around the ring, this time by Lamon Brewster. As before there were multiple knock-downs before the ref decided he had seen enough of the annihilation and put Wlad out of his misery. Shamefully though, Wlad couldn’t accept his beating like a man and – through his minions – put out the rumour he had been drugged with a special chemical designed to cause a disgracefully fragile mandible. Unfortunately for Wlad, absolutely nobody bought this pathetic excuse meaning he automatically defaulted an EVT loss to Brewster.


So as we have seen here Wlad is not only prone to being put on ***** Street, he is also very susceptible to EVT losses.

Vitali, on the other hand, is a much tougher proposition. Not only is he an iron-chinned warrior, he is also extremely difficult to win an EVT against. In 46 fights he has only lost one EVT.

Vitali’s Only EVT Loss
Fittingly, Vitali’s only loss in the field of events came against another iron-chinned warrior… I mean of course Dereck “I swing both ways, playa” Chisora. Not only did the brazen Zimbabwean slap Vitali like a *****, he then spat water in his little brother’s face, while Wlad just stood there looking confused and licking his lips. This was compounded by the fact Chisora chased Vitali’s old ass around the ring all night, while the old man tried to pretend he was experimenting with being slick and black. What a spectacular EVT loss! atsch

The bad news for the Klitschko brothers is that I have it on good authority the International Boxing Hall of Fame are planning on introducing a new policy for 2013. The new standard will see a positive EVT win ratio as a pre-requisite for entry into the illustrious boxing Hall of Fame. This means the Klitschko brothers are in a race against time to claim some EVT wins before they retire.

I think this will be really difficult because not only do they struggle to win EVT’s they are actually having EVT’s wins claimed against them. It really is a shame that not only will the Klitschko’s be lightly regarded by traditional boxing standards, but by the new criteria they are actually being outshone by characters such as Chisora and Sanders.

What a sad state of affairs! It must be very difficult to be a Klitschko fan.

 

I totally disagree with this point. First of all, Vitali was up on the score cards and - as we all know - being up on the score cards when a fight gets stopped is a clear precedent for establishing an EVT win. Secondly, although Solis' knee gave out, it was caused by a temple shot which put him on ***** Street.

There is absolutely no way you can be losing on points and get put on ***** Street yet still claim an EVT win.

I am sorry, DrMo, but you clearly don't know **** about EVTology.

 

FFS neither Vitali nor Briggs won the EVT. It takes more than inflicting a one-sided beat-down - or manfully taking your beating - to claim an EVT win.

This is really disappointing.

I had hoped to come here and discuss EVT wins with other qualified EVTologists but, instead, I get woefully ill-informed cretins mentioning Briggs and Solis. atsch

 

Actually, maybe I spoke to soon. I like this analysis.

 

Get the **** out of here.