What is the funniest quote in boxing

Andre Dirrell to Tyson Fury on twitter "Do yourself a favor and put a cheeseburger on your glove, that way the next time you hit yourself it's for a reason."

Bernard Hopkins "Boxing is like dealing with a hoe, you gotta protect yourself at all times."

Mike Tyson "I'll eat your ******* alive, you *****!"

Mike Tyson "I tried to catch him with a uppercut right on the tip of the nose because I tried to punch the nose bone into the brain."

Sam Peter post fight interview "WHO NEKS!"

Manny Pacquiao "Oh yeah exactly, the gloves that I use in clitoris is, you know, I like those gloves it's my gloves."

Zab Judah "He hit me in the balls man. First of all I'd like to thank god..."

James Toney "HBO! Home Boys Only!"

Yoel Judah talking about what his son is gonna do to Baldomir "We gon' make him disappear. Now you see him, now you don't."

Jean Pascal "I'd fight anybody, if the martians came to earth I'd fight them!" to witch Hopkins replied "Somebody get his CAT scans"

Darchinyan after getting KTFO'd by Donaire : "I wasn't hurt, I was fine."

Chad Dawson to Jean Pascal who's wearing a tuxedo : "Sit down with ya tight pants!"

Mayweather talking about the last two punches against Ortiz "A light 2-piece with a biscuit and they trippin?"

I don't care if it was a press conference or an interview on tv, I would have jumped on Frazier right then and there.

 

Frazier and Norton were friends, he would've been joking.

 

I haven't read through the other posts, but I am 100% sure Ricky Hatton's "winning by a country mile" quip has been mentioned.

 

Well, it hadn't been mentioned. Wow.

I almost died laughing when during the Hopkins-Tarver fight, when Larry Marchant said: "they're not doing a lot to keep us awake, here."

Once after a fighter said something about God giving him the victory, Jim Lampley said something like, "Having a good left hook doesn't hurt, either."

 

Tyson: ''Ill **** you 'till you love me ******''

 

"He has a mouthful of twenty carats worth of diamonds, unfortunately they are in a setting of glass" - Larry Merchant on Zab Judah

 

That's stupid SRR's legacy can't be touched

Robinson will always be the greatest

 

funny shite man :good:good..wouldnt be good if that was what ended him tho lol...

 

For those not really familiar with Tommy Gallagher, he’s the closest thing to Popeye Doyle from the “FRENCH CONNECTION;” a larger-than-life, profane, mean as a junk-yard dog, opinionated, impatient, very loud, crude, brutally honest, very loyal, former undercover cop and laugh riot 24-hours-a-day. Being with his family is like an episode of the Osbournes.

An author put it best, describing his dad: "My father lived his life at the top of his lungs"...That's Tommy Gallagher.

When we had our amateur team in Queens, Tommy was training Lalonde when he defended his light heavy title at Ceasar's Palace in Vegas against Sugar Ray Leonard. Tommy asked my wife 'n I to join him.

Because Lalonde was the headliner, everybody in his entourage was given special treatment by the management of the hotel.

One evening, I was in the lobby with Tommy, his family 'n some of our neighborhood friends. A very official looking guy in a three-piece suit came over: "Good evening, Mr. Gallagher. Speaking for the management of the hotel, I'd like to extend a warm welcome to you and all of your friends. Now, If you'll follow me, I'll take you to be seated at the Pointer Sisters’ show."

Tommy looked at me. His voice reverberating through the lobby: "WHO IS THIS HALF-A-***?”

When we went to the Pointer Sisters’ show, the room was a semi-circle of tiered wooden benches – pews. Nobody had their own table. Everybody was bunched together.

We were a party of about 15, but all around us were families looking like they just stepped out of a Norman Rockwell painting.

Tommy was in top form, cracking everybody up with one story after another. Somebody asked him: "Tommy did you ever fight out of the country as an amateur?"

As if he was trying to be heard over gym noise, Tommy shouted, "I was a young Irish Catholic kid and I never was no place. They asked me to fight for the U.S. team in Spain. So, when I got to Spain, I walked around…and there was, like, this little circus."

"There was a sign on one of the cages, and somebody told me it said: Anybody that could last a round with the bear would get $50. I never seen that much money...or a bear."

"So, I looked in the cage, and there's this big mop of fur on the floor. I figure: No problem; I'll knock this thing out."

"So, when I turned around to tell the guy I wanted to do it, the bear REACHED THROUGH THE BARS AND TRIED TO **** ME…IT’S A GOOD THING I WAS WEAR'N SHORTS!"

I fell on the floor, doubled over with laughter.

The families were fleeing in horror.

 

can't believe no ones mentioned allen minter's "sure theres been injuries and deaths in boxing but none of them serious" lol

 

and another good one is when henry cooper was having a debate with baroness summerskill ( a doctor and a politician) who thought boxing should be banned. during the debate he was respectful until the baroness turned it personal.
"Mr cooper" she said "have you looked in the mirror lately and seen the state of your nose?" without hesitation he said "madam, have you looked in tthe mirror and seen the state of your nose? boxing's my excuse. what's yours? lol

 

:rofl

 

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Rw47gXsDwjw[/ame]

 

Your mention of Cooper reminded me of this, p.

Cooper told me this story before the Ali fight :

He and two of his huge sparring partners, Joe Bygraves and Joe Erskine, where in a lorry driving some place. They were laughing and having such a good time, Cooper wasn't paying as close attention to traffic as he should’ve and cut off a driver.

At the light, this scrawny, irate motorist jumped out his car and raced over to Cooper’s window, screaming at him.

Henry tried to apologize, but the guy was having none of it... and, suddenly slapped Cooper in the face.

With that, the doors of the lorry flew open and Cooper and the two menacing sparring partners surrounded the little guy. He looked from one to the other, then announced to Cooper: "YOU'RE LUCKY YOU'RE WITH YOUR MATES!"

All they could do is laugh, get back in the lorry and drive off.