Why Haye vs Harrison is bigger than Ali vs Frazier 1, 2 and 3

Why Haye vs Harrison is bigger than Ali vs Frazier 1, 2 and 3 by Fantana

Sometime ago I wrote a brilliant article on why David Haye simply must fight Audley Harrison in his next title defence. Everything added up, the excitement, the all British factor, the fact David Cameron said it would do in EXCESS of £50 million. But there was another aspect on the fight I didn’t throw into the mix, because it was too special. Any real man, such as myself, knows how far to push the limits of folks imagination, and for the majority of people what I am about to tell you has only recently started to come from out of the ethereal and into the physical. I have heard people whispering on public busses about this fight, forum posters making countless threads about it, a media build up which has generated into a frenzy for a fight that hasn’t yet been announced which surpasses the deafening silence of the scheduled Klitschko bouts. Haye vs Harrison is the fight everyone is talking about and it is going to be bigger than Ali vs Frazier, 1 2 and 3, and here is why:-

1 – Both are big punchers

David Haye, known as The Hayemaker, knocks people out like it is going out of fashion. His resume is littered with a knockout ratio of 88%, which is 3% more than I got in my IQ test. Monte Barret, Enzo Maccarinelli, Jean Mormeck, Bonin…some of his latest wins. His last outing however came against John Ruiz, and whilst I think The Quiet Man was cheated out of a win, the record shows a TKO in round 9 for Haye, very impressive stuff.

Audley Harrison, knocked out 3 guys in a row in one night on prize fighter (boxrec shows one as a UD 3, I watched it live, he knocked everyone out so this is again a conspiracy against Audley which has been on-going for quite some time) and who can forget his spectacularly brutal one punch knockout of Sprott where Audley had just one working arm and showed some much grit and determination he made Ghandi look like a yuppy. Other big names include Rob Calloway, Danny Williams and Richel Hersisia, who Audley ****ed up with a seventeen punch combination.

Just by looking at how both men stand, how they fight, how they punch, fireworks are guaranteed, if it goes more than three rounds we will all be shocked. It will definitely not last until the final bell, and this is a scientific fact.

In contrast, the Ali vs Frazier trilogy never produced a single knockout. We had a one knockdown in over 30 rounds of too old men pummelling each other. Yes, bout 3 got stopped, but it wasn’t a knockout, they had to stop the fight so the old men could go collect their pensions and because everyone had stopped watching, they had fallen asleep. Boxing supposed paramount heavyweight trilogy is quite frankly, ****. Over rated. Plus, even in their first fight, both men were old. OK, so they will both be younger than Haye and Harrison, but times have changed. 27 in the 70s is 45 in todays heavyweight scene, and Audley Harrison will only be 39 when the fight rolls around.

2 – Both are British and therefore more manly

Both men are British, born and bred. Britain is known for producing real men, such as myself, Winston Churchill and The Beatles. Manliness is defined by things such as toughness, work ethic and stiff upper lippedness. Often these things are acquired during adolescence, whilst growing up. We have some real tough places in England to grow up in, America might have Detroit, Harlem and Gauntanamo Bay, but England has places like Winchester, where Simon Peggs Hot Fuzz was filmed. Just ask Carl Froch about how tough it is too grow up in England, not going to public schools, having to fight a few bullies, a Dad who was strict, but not too strict. Intense ****. America has ghettos, Britain has council Estates, where the people have no jobs and rely on Government support to keep them and their families in 3 bedroom houses. There are no jobs available for these fine British folk, who are so poor, so deprived, they can only often afford 32” Plasma TVs and an Xbox 360, with no Playstation 3. They quiet often don’t even know what a Blu Ray is.

In about as big a contrast as you can get, both Ali and Frazier had much nicer upbringings, because they got bought up in America, the land of the free and home of the brave. The single greatest country in the world, ever. In America they have things such as sunshine, beaches, sweet home Alabama and Girls Gone Wild. They have opportunity at every corner, equality and Hollywood. Everybody in America drives an SUV, is a pimp and has a sun tan. Because of this easy living all Americans appreciate and have, they have no heavyweights anymore who can become a champion, and their best heavyweights were all conquered by Lennox Lewis. It is like Friends vs Eastenders.

3 – Both are REAL big men, in a non-gay way

Ali, 6 foot 3, 210 pounds in his pomp. Frazier, not even 6 foot, 205 pounds. In today’s world of heavyweights, these guys wouldn’t last. Simply, too small.

Audley Harrison, 6 foot 6, 250 pounds. David Haye, 6 foot 3, 220 lbs. This is over 50 pounds more of pure heavyweight punching power between in the spectacle of Haye vs Harrison.

Whilst bigger necessarily isn’t better, it actually is. Big men punching each other is far more fan friendly then smaller men punching each other because it looks better, huge rippling muscles add the wow factor Hollywood clamours for. Frazier looked podgy, Ali looked thin, whereas David Haye looks like the incredible hulk and Audley Harrison looks like The Predator. This saw of narcissism both men possess to look so strapping can only help to generate more interest in the fight, especially since there will probably be a punch up over who gets the biggest mirror in the make-up room.

4 – Both can talk a great fight

Mumbling Bumbling Joe, he had the **** ripped out of him every time by Ali. It was embarrassing to watch, and boring. Then there was Ali, he made up some poems, then kept using the same one liners throughout his career “He so ugly, he so slow, bla bla bla.” It wasn’t even particularly aggressive, whereas British men like David Haye say things like “I’m going to smash your face in” and Audley Harrison says “So let’s stop with the bullshitting, man up and get this fight signed. So bring on the Battle of Britain and I will be the Hayebreaker come November 13th.” Using a choice of words such as man up, ****, and battle of Britain really emphasize a fighter who can not only punch but also can talk the talk which brings in seemingly endless crowdsd. People have been logging on to Facebook and Twitter just to see what savvy genius these guys have been spewing towards each other.

5 – The timing of this fight makes it more of an event

When Ali and Frazier fought, it was in the city that never sleeps the first couple of times, then they went to the Philippines in October ‘75. Well, the 70’s was a peaceful time, folks were scared of Global Cooling and scientists were considering putting soot on the ice caps to melt them. There was a lot of cool **** happening, like Roberto Duran, Vietnam, and Watergate. Today we have Floyd Mayweather, Iraq and Climategate. We’ve got Lady Gaga, a recession, constant terrorist threats and “natural” disasters. It’s turbulent for folks around the world, but not in Britain.

November is generally a pretty boring month in Britain. It gets dark at 5, it’s always bloody cold and after bonfire night on the 5th there’s **** all else to look forward to apart from footy and Cheryl Cole on the X-Factor, both on a Saturday. Thankfully, with a big fight featuring two great heavyweights for a title in Britain, who everyone knows, it means everyone is going to watch it! We will have something to take our minds off the persistent cold, the traffic jams and constant snow/rain fall. Getting up in the morning to remove the frost from your windshield won’t be as bad, because even when you do inevitably fall and crack your head on the pavement you can say things like “That’s what’s going to happen to David Haye on Novemeber 13th” or what have you.

People at work will want to interact with you, talk to you about the fight. It will be like Christmas is coming early, except you won’t have to deal with the in laws, although you probably will because you will have to invite people round to watch the big event. Boxing will be big again, Britain will be centre stage to an event so epic in its scale, a fight that is going to be so thrilling, so explosive, Ali vs Frazier trilogy will look like Roy Jones vs Bernard Hopkins 2 in comparison. In years to come if we survive 2012 we can all talk about that great night in England when Audley Harrison and David Haye proved what two big men can really do when they get it on, in a non-gay way.

Yours in manliness,
Fantana