Why is Wladimir called 'Dr. Steel Hammer'?

I'm confused by why Wladimir uses the sobriquet 'Dr. Steel Hammer' and I would like to discuss the matter right here on ESB with my fellow boxing fans.

The source of my confusion lies not with the 'Doctor' part. Wlad does have a PHD afterall, albeit in Sports Science, which - as an academic discipline - is about on par with 'Travel and Tourism', but I suppose it's a PHD nonetheless.

I'm also not confused by the 'hammer' part. It's simply a metaphor that serves as a shortcut to the simile: 'he hits like a hammer'. Fine. He does have a big right hand when he chooses to throw it in every third fight.

The bit I don't understand is why he incorporated 'steel' into the title. Now, I'll get to why that confuses me in a moment, but first I think it would be useful to provide a brief summary of the hammer from the Paleolithic Age to the present day.

The hammer - in its modern form - dates back to around 30,000 BCE. There are archeological discoveries from that time of stones attached to sticks with strips of leather or animal sinew. Crucially, and this is important to my point, back then the head was made of STONE. Here is an early stone hammer:

This content is protected

By the Sixteenth Century the modern claw hammer had been born, which was an absolute sensation in the world of renaissance DIY enthusiasts. The claw feature revolutionised the process of bludgeoning nails into a piece of wood, as it allowed for the extraction of any erroneously placed nails. Here is an illustration of a 16th Century claw hammer:

This content is protected

Today, when we talk hammers - unless you are a geologist or a wrongfully imprisoned man looking to tunnel from your cell - we are talking claw hammers. Here is a picture of the type of claw hammer I use (which is available from all good stockists for less than £10, which is about $15):

This content is protected

Crucially, you will notice this hammer is made from STEEL (with a vulcanised rubber grip - trademen usually prefer graphite handles for the increased shock-absorbing properties, but they are more expensive).

Now, here is my issue with Wlad's alias. As my history of the hammer has shown; since the sixteenth century all hammers are made from steel.

Therefore, part of his nickname is totally REDUNDANT!

Would you say Dr. Rubber Tyre? Or, Dr. Paper Book? Or, Dr. Wet Water? Of course not, it is totally stupid and counter-productive!

Now, if Wlad was fighting 30,000 years ago, it would have been useful to mention 'steel' in his title, as stone was very much in vogue back then and it would have been appropriate to make that distinction (although he probably would have been burned as a witch, as steel wasn't invented at that point). However, today... ALL CLAW HAMMERS ARE MADE FROM STEEL!

What a goon! How could this not have occured to Wlad (or his manager, Paul O'Grady)? Now he is not only a laughing stock in the boxing world, but tradesmen and amateur DIY enthusiasts think he is a total *****!

Dr. Iron Fist? Sure. Not only will Vitali hit you with his fist, but it's going to be as hard as iron.

But Dr. Steel Hammer? Come on...

From now on I propose that we simply call Wlad 'Dr. Hammer'. It will save us from having to type out five extra characters, while it will also stop Wlad from sounding like a compete dumbass.

What do you think, guys? What are your thoughts on all of this?

P.S. As you may have gathered, I'm a real hammer enthuiast, so you if you want to discuss hammers, feel free to drop me a PM.

 

Interestingly, if he decided to focus on Mallets for his title instead of hammers, I would have no issue with the title, Dr. Steel Mallet.

The reason for this is that there is quite some variation in the composition of a mallet. Take a look at the following examples.

A rubber mallet:

This content is protected

A wooden mallet:

This content is protected

An iron mallet (with copper faces):

This content is protected

An aluminium mallet (with serated faces):

This content is protected

There are even plastic mallets:

This content is protected

Therefore, with a mallet, it would be very useful to provide clarification on the material used for it's construction, but with hammers it is entirely unnecessary.

Wlad DKSAH.

 

You are right, but it is a shortcut to the simile 'he hits like a hammer'. I should have made that clearer.

I will edit to relect that.