Boston Tom McMustache: Fistic Finesse & Fury

He often held his training camps in whorehouses. This defense came about due to needing to constantly scratch his balls mid-fight.

 

That was absolutely beautiful


I remember reading the Marciano one where they made a ton of pimp jokes

 

Does the Boston Crab Defense protect the fighter's gloves from punches as effectively as the Wepner Guard?

 

It was so incomprehensible that it can neither be communicated by spoken or written word, nor demonstrated.

 

Write it down on a moldy piece of newspaper clipping. My imagination will do the rest.

 

https://media1.tenor.com/images/26bda7df245f944d7495f2c1ff60a660/tenor.gif?itemid=3480021

 

While people may mock Harry Greb's shadowboxing technique, nobody mocked Boston Tom's. In fact, his shadow boxing skills were so good that he often KO'd his own shadow.

 

The Boston Marathon was named after him because he once ran 26 miles while standing still.

 

‘Twas easy for Tom, because his shadow fell for his feints.

 

I think you know what my first question is, about the missing item on the menu.

 

Aye, Goldstein was himself a phenomenal pugilist, sadly cast into the shadow by the larger than life Tom. He was a true gentleman of the sport too. When Tom was exiled from every whiskey saloon in the country over his refusal to pay his $8 bar tab, Goldstein lent him a shilling with which to get liquored up on Poughkeepsie moonshine and rubbing alcohol. He continued to lend him shillings until such time as the ban was lifted a couple of hours after.

Tom was to later throw that kindness back in his face when he publicly accused Goldstein of being an "effeminate moustacheless spindoodler," an extremely vile insult in those days when a man's worth was often measured by the length of his facial hairs. Goldstein never forgave Tom and went to his grave at the age of 35 still cursing his name and slapping his thighs in vexation.

Thankfully mouldering newspaper clippings have recently come to light showing us what a truly amazing personality he was. Personally I'd argue that any NC over Goldstein was worth ten NCs over most other fighters, save perhaps Spike O'Sullivan.

 

What did he eat for lunch and dinner?

 

Rumor is, Boston Tom licked the original Jack Dempsey out of the history books. When I say original Jack Dempsey, I mean Nonpareil Nonpareil Jack Dempsey.